“I wish the government would just ban itself”
"I wish the government would just ban itself" is an anti-government saying that has been printed on many images. On the American animated sitcom King of the Hill, the episode…
“I wondered why somebody didn’t do something. Then I realized that I am somebody”
"I wondered why somebody didn't do something. Then I realized that I am somebody" is a popular saying of unknown authorship. *I waited for somebody to do something. Then I realized I…
“I worship the quicksand he walks on”
"I worship the very quicksand the President walks on," American humorist and Washington (DC) Post columnist Art Buchwald (1925-2007) said of U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson in 1966.…
“I would like to suggest government-free zones”
"I would like to suggest government-free zones" is an anti-government saying that has been printed on several images. Government often imposes "gun-free zones" and…
“I would never have believed that a few weeks of uncut hair would weigh 20 pounds”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines, and many people got fat. Barbershops were closed, and many people grew their hair long. "Hard to believe that five weeks of uncut…
“I would never invade the United States. There would be a gun behind every blade of grass”
"You cannot invade the mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind each/every blade of grass" is a saying that has been printed on many images. It is credited to Japanese…
“I would rather be governed by the first hundred names in the telephone book”
American conservative author and journalist William F. Buckley, Jr. (1925-2008) -- who went to Yale University -- didn't think that academics necessarily made great legislators. The New York…
“I wouldn’t vote for you if you were St. Peter!”/“If I were, you wouldn’t be in my district!”
An old political joke (cited in print from at least 1940), has a political heckler saying, "I wouldn't vote for you if you were St. Peter himself." The politician swiftly answers…
“I’d call myself a politician, but then I would just be a liar…”
A joke about politicians and lying is: "I'd call myself a politician, but then I would just be a liar. So, basically, I would be a politician." The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes…
“I’d demand a recount” (William F. Buckley, Jr., Conservative, if elected mayor in 1965)
William F. Buckley, Jr. ran in 1965 for mayor of New York City. As a Conservative. He did get about 13% of he vote. He was asked what he would do if he won the race. Buckley issued his classic…
“I’d like to buy Christmas stamps.”/“What denomination?” (joke)
Christmas stamps and Hanukkah stamps are sold by the U.S. post office, and a joke has a woman buying such stamps. "What denomination?" a clerk asks her. The woman, however, believes the…
“I’d like to buy Hanukkah stamps.”/“What denomination?” (joke)
Christmas stamps and Hanukkah stamps are sold by the U.S. post office, and a joke has a woman buying such stamps. "What denomination?" a clerk asks her. The woman, however, believes the…
“I’d like to congratulate drugs for winning the war on drugs”
"Congratulations to drugs for winning the war on drugs" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "We'd like to congratulate drugs for winning the war on…
“I’d rather have a gun in my hand than a cop on the phone”
"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…
“I’d rather have a gun in the hand than a cop on the phone”
"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…
“I’d rather trust my neighbors with more freedom than trust my politicians with more power”
"I'd rather trust my neighbors with more freedom than trust my politicians with more power" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "I'd rather trust my…
“I’d tell you an economics joke, but there’s not enough demand”
"I'd tell you an economics joke, but there's not enough demand" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Economics is about supply and demand. "So nobody…
“I’ll control my guns. You control your kids”
"I'll control my guns. You control your kids" is a pro-Second Amendment saying that has been printed on many images. "Seen a sign today that said 'You control your kids,…
“I’ll hug your elephant if you kiss my ass” (Republican-Democrat bipartisanship)
"I'll hug your elephant if you kiss my ass" is the last line of a bipartisanship poem of unknown authorship, said to be from a Democrat to a Republican after an election. The poem…
“I’ll never be able to run for President because of what I did for a Klondike Bar”
A Klondike bar is an ice cream bar coated with a thin layer of chocolate. "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" is a memorable ad jingle that began in 1982. "I'll never be…