“I’m 1776% sure you’re not taking my AR-15”
"I am 1776% sure no one will be taking my guns" (or "I am 1776% sure no one is taking my guns") is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "1776" is the…
“I’m a lawyer. I’m here to defend your ass, not kiss it”
"I'm a lawyer. I'm here to defend/help/protect your ass, not kiss it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "i'm lawyer my job is to protect your ass NOT…
“I’m a lawyer. I’m here to protect your ass, not kiss it”
"I'm a lawyer. I'm here to defend/help/protect your ass, not kiss it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "i'm lawyer my job is to protect your ass NOT…
“I’m a lawyer. It’s my job to defend your ass, not kiss it”
"I'm a lawyer. I'm here to defend/help/protect your ass, not kiss it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "i'm lawyer my job is to protect your ass NOT…
“I’m a lawyer.” / “Honest?” / “No, the regular kind.”
“I’m a lawyer.” “Honest?” “No, the regular kind" is a lawyer joke that was posted on the newsgroup alt.bbs.wildcat on February 15, 1996. The joke is that the speaker had meant…
“I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue”
A "single issue voter" votes for or against a politician based solely on a single issue. The "single issue voter" can be single or married, and this is the basis of a joke.…
“I’m already against the next war”
"I'm already against the next war" is an anti-war saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been on bumper stickers since at least 2006. "Bumpersnicker…
“I’m an artist for the government. I draw unemployment”
"I'm an artist. I draw unemployment" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1986 and 1989. "Now he's an artist for the state. He draws unemployment" was…
“I’m at the point in life where the hottest text I get is: ‘Your prescription is ready for pick up’”
Texting can be romantic -- or not. "I'm at the point in life where the hottest text I get is: 'Your prescription is ready for pick up'" is a jocular saying that has been…
“I’m beginning to think that foreign aid is just code for money laundering”
"I'm beginning to think that foreign aid is just code for money laundering" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "Foreign Aid is just a fancy word for money…
“I’m excited that the phrase ‘get the fuck away from me’ is no longer rude but a PSA”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in social distancing. "I'm excited that the phrase 'get the fuck away from me' is no longer rude but a public service announcement.…
“I’m from the government and I’m here to help you”
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help you" (or "We're from the government and we're here to help you") is a line from the mid-1970s, usually grouped…
“I’m gonna be a Social Justice Warrior for Halloween” (joke)
A Halloween joke was posted on Twitter by Adam Hunter on October 27, 2016: "I'm gonna be a Social Justice Warrior for Halloween. When people ask me 'What are you?' I'm…
“I’m gonna run for president & kill other candidates by natural disaster. I’ll win by a landslide”
A "landslide" political victory is a win by a large margin. No actual landslide is involved, but there are jokes. This was posted on Sickipedia on August 7, 2023: "I'm gonna run…
“I’m having a quarantine party this weekend! None of you are invited”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused many to socially distance themselves from others and to quarantine themselves in their homes. Some people held "quarantine parties."…
“I’m in a bad place right now. Not mentally. I just live in the United States”
"I'm in a bad place right now. Not mentally. Just [X]" is a meme that has been printed on many images. "In a bad place right now. Not emotionally, just at work..." was…
“I’m in so much debt, I could start a government”
"I'm in so much debt, I could start a government" is a jocular one-line saying about personal debt and government debt that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted to…
“I’m joining the war on drugs on the side of drugs”
"I have joined the war on drugs on the side of drugs" (or "I'm joining the war on drugs on the side of drugs") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m…
“I’m joining the war on drugs. I’m on the drugs’ side”
"I have joined the war on drugs on the side of drugs" (or "I'm joining the war on drugs on the side of drugs") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m…
“I’m joining the war on drugs. I’m on the side of drugs”
"I have joined the war on drugs on the side of drugs" (or "I'm joining the war on drugs on the side of drugs") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m…