“I used to be liberal. Then I left home & got a job”
"I used to be liberal. Then I left home & got a job" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Stickers we jus saw on a truck: (...) Other sticker said - I used to be…
“I visited the doctor today and he told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf”
A joke about "blood sugar level" mistakes that term for the shelf that sugar is stored on. "Doctor told my Friend her sugar is too high she move her sugar container to a lower…
“I want anarchy. Because my keyboard is missing one”
"Anarchy" can sound like "an 'R' key," and there's a pun: "I want anarchy. Because my keyboard is missing one." The joke was posted on Reddit on July 9,…
“I want to create a world where the environment doesn’t need protecting”
"I don't want to protect the environment, I want to create a world where the environment doesn't need protecting" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying…
“I want to die the day after Congress is filled with honest, hard-working, bipartisan men and women”
A popular joke has a fairy (or genie) grant a person a wish. The person wishes to live forever, but the fairy says he can't do that. Then the person says that he/she wants to die the day after…
“I was bitten by a radioactive lawyer and ended up with the power of attorney”
"Whenever I hear the phrase 'Power of Attorney' I always imagine someone being bitten by a radioactive lawyer" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by JerryThomas on June 24,…
“I was going to go to the grocery store but I forgot my ID so I just went to vote instead. - New York City”
In 2026, new New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani did not support requiring an ID to vote, but did support requiring an ID to shop at his proposed city-run grocery stores. This jocular comment was…
“I was going to turn all my guns over to the government, but I did a background check…”
"Well, I was going to turn all my guns over to the government; but I did a background check and none of them were mentally stable" was posted on Twitter by Doug Sehorne on September 15,…
“I wasn’t born Republican, Democrat, or yesterday”
"I wasn't born yesterday" means that the speaker is not so naive as to believe certain faulty arguments or proposals. "I wasn't born Republican, Democrat, or…
“I wasn’t sitting here awaiting govt guidance on whether I could celebrate Christmas this year”
During the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic, politicians and government health agencies gave advice on how to celebrate Christmas. Many people ignored the advice and celebrated Christmas however…
“I went to a BLM rally this weekend and all I got was this lousy t shirt…”
"My parent went to Florida and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" is a popular meme from the 1970s. June and July 2020 had protests and civil unrest (riots) following the death of George…
“I went to a protest last weekend and all I got was this lousy t shirt…and a TV…”
"My parent went to Florida and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" is a popular meme from the 1970s. June and July 2020 had protests and civil unrest (riots) following the death of George…
“I went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden”
A mole could be cancer -- or it could just be a garden animal. "I went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the…
“I will never donate money to anyone collecting for a marathon. They just take the money and run”
"Take the money and run" is a common expression to describe a scammer who will run off with someone's money. "Never donate money to anyone collecting for a marathon. They just…
“I will not wear someone else’s fear” (anti-facemask saying)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. "I will not wear someone else's fear" is an anti-facemask saying that has been printed on an…
“I wish complaining about taxes was tax-deductible”
"I wish complaining about taxes was tax-deductible" is a jocular one-line saying about taxes that has been printed on an ecard. The saying was posted on Twitter on April 17, 2012.…
“I wish Covid-19 had started in Las Vegas. Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" is a famous slogan of Las Vegas, Nevada. Many people joked that the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic should have originated in Las Vegas for this…
“I wish for a world without lawyers” (joke)
A lawyer joke has been printed on several images: Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes.Me: I wish for a world without lawyersGenie: Done, you have no more wishes.Me: But you said 3.Genie: Sue me. The…
“I wish people were as passionate about regulating their government…”
"I wish people were as passionate about regulating their government as they are about regulating their neighbors" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I wish people…
“I wish the coronavirus had started in Las Vegas. Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" is a famous slogan of Las Vegas, Nevada. Many people joked that the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic should have originated in Las Vegas for this…