“I think my cat might be a communist. He won’t shut up about Mao”
Mao Zedong should now be confused with "meow" (what a cat says), but there are jokes. "They fear the cat is a Communist, however, pointing out, 'He's a meow-ist'"…
“I think we should get rid of democracy. All in favor. raise your hand”
"I think we should get rid of democracy. All in favor. raise your hand" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "Should we get rid of…
“I think, therefore I don’t have much in common with a lot of people”
"I think, therefore I don't have much in common with a lot of people" -- a variation of "I think, therefore I am" -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“I think, therefore I don’t have much in common with most people”
"I think, therefore I don't have much in common with a lot of people" -- a variation of "I think, therefore I am" -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“I think, therefore I don’t have much in common with quite a few people”
"I think, therefore I don't have much in common with a lot of people" -- a variation of "I think, therefore I am" -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“I thought I had Covid-19 because I couldn’t breathe. Then I unbuttoned my pants and it was OK”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made people conscious of their breathing. "At first, I thought I had Covid 19 because I couldn’t breathe. Then I unbuttoned my pants and it was all…
“I told my suitcases there will be no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic cancelled many vacations. "I told my suitcases that there will be no vacation this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage" was posted on…
“I told you to bring a couple of RIBEYES home for dinner” (“rabbis” joke)
"Ribeye" (a steak) shouldn't be confused with "rabbi," but there are jokes. "I told you to bring a couple of RIBEYES home for dinner" (shown on a comic…
“I tried paying taxes with a smile, but the IRS wanted cash”
Some people suggest that citizens should "pay taxes with a smile," knowing that the citizens have patriotically performed a civic duty. Many taxpayers, however, do not enjoy paying taxes.…
“I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing. This is as close as I could get”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many to "socially distance" themselves from others. People tried to come up with jokes, and this was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 22,…
“I trust gas station sushi more than I trust the government”
"I trust gas station sushi move than I trust the government" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Sushi is a high-priced item that must be served fresh, and these are…
“I trust the government to lie about everything”
"I trust the government to lie about everything" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I trust the government (to lie about everything)" was posted on Twitter by…
“I TRUST THE SCIENCE!”/“You trust the television.”
"Be honest, you didn't trust the science. You trusted the TV" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "Trust the science” became a popular saying during the…
“I used to be liberal. Then I left home & got a job”
"I used to be liberal. Then I left home & got a job" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Stickers we jus saw on a truck: (...) Other sticker said - I used to be…
“I visited the doctor today and he told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf”
A joke about "blood sugar level" mistakes that term for the shelf that sugar is stored on. "Doctor told my Friend her sugar is too high she move her sugar container to a lower…
“I want anarchy. Because my keyboard is missing one”
"Anarchy" can sound like "an 'R' key," and there's a pun: "I want anarchy. Because my keyboard is missing one." The joke was posted on Reddit on July 9,…
“I want to create a world where the environment doesn’t need protecting”
"I don't want to protect the environment, I want to create a world where the environment doesn't need protecting" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying…
“I want to die the day after Congress is filled with honest, hard-working, bipartisan men and women”
A popular joke has a fairy (or genie) grant a person a wish. The person wishes to live forever, but the fairy says he can't do that. Then the person says that he/she wants to die the day after…
“I was bitten by a radioactive lawyer and ended up with the power of attorney”
"Whenever I hear the phrase 'Power of Attorney' I always imagine someone being bitten by a radioactive lawyer" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by JerryThomas on June 24,…
“I was going to turn all my guns over to the government, but I did a background check…”
"Well, I was going to turn all my guns over to the government; but I did a background check and none of them were mentally stable" was posted on Twitter by Doug Sehorne on September 15,…