“Why don’t lions like fast food?” (joke)
"Fast food" means food that is prepared quickly -- not animals that are fast or slow. "Why doesn't a lion like fast food?" is a joke that was on Twitter on August 15, 2012.…
“Why don’t melons run away to get married?”/“Because they cantaloupe.”
"Cantaloupe" sounds like "can't elope." The pun has been cited in print since at least 1886. 9 September 1886, Wall Street Daily News (New York, NY), pg. 1, col. 2:FRED…
“Why don’t Mexicans have barbecues?”/“Because the beans fall through the grill.”
A barbecue joke is: Q: Why don't Mexicans have barbecues?A: Because the beans fall through the grill. The joke -- sometimes regarded as offensive -- has been cited in print since at least…
“Why don’t monsters eat ghosts?”/“Because they taste like sheet.”
"Sheet" sounds like "shit." "do you know what ghosts taste like? Sheet!" was posted on Twitter by Brian Korte on February 1, 2017. "Why don’t zombies eat ghost?…
“Why don’t pâtissiers buy cigarettes?”/“Because they profiterole their own.”
"Profiterole" (a cream puff) sounds a little like "prefer to roll." "Why don't English deserts buy cigarettes? Because they profiterole their own" was posted on…
“Why don’t people eat bear meat?”/“It’s too gristly.”
"Grizzly" sounds a little like "gristly." A pun about bear meat is: Q: Why don't people eat bear meat?A: It's too gristly. "“Well, I don't like bear meat…
“Why don’t restaurants serve noodles after 10:00 PM?”/“It’s pasta bedtime.”
Pasta has been used in "pasta bedtime" ("past bedtime") jokes. "What did the spaghetti say to the cheese at midnite???? ITS PASTA MY BEDTIME!!!!!" was posted on…
“Why don’t they serve chocolate in prison?”/“Because it makes you break out.”
Chocolate has a reputation (perhaps undeserved) for giving some people acne. There's a "chocolate makes you break out" pun: Q: Why don't they serve chocolate in prison? A:…
“Why don’t vegans take risks?”/“Because their life could be at steak.”
A vegan riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 8, 2018: Q: Why don't vegans take risks?A: Because their life could be at steak. “You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the…
“Why don’t you eat fish on Thanksgiving?”/“Because Thanksgiving never falls on a fry day.”
People usually eat turkey -- and not fish -- on Thanksgiving, and there's a riddle: Q; Why don't you eat fish on Thanksgiving?A: Because Thanksgiving never falls on a FRY-day. The joke…
“Why don’t you get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini?”
"Tales of Hoffman" by Irving Hoffman stated in The Hollywood Reporter (Hollywood, CA) on August 14, 1937: "Someone recalled the following line of swell dialog the other day, but…
“Why don’t zombies eat ghosts?”/“Because they taste like sheet.”
"Sheet" sounds like "shit." "do you know what ghosts taste like? Sheet!" was posted on Twitter by Brian Korte on February 1, 2017. "Why don’t zombies eat ghost?…
“Why don’t hamburger buns get along?”/“There’s always beef between them.”
The word "beef" can mean a food or an argument. "Why did the two buns stop talking to eat other? There was beef between them" was posted on Twitter by bianca on June 11, 2014.…
“Why don’t seagulls live by the bay?”/“Because then they’d be bagels.”
One popular animal joke (also a food joke) is: Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?A: Because if they lived near the bay, they'd be called bagels. The joke has been cited in print since at…
“Why don’t skeletons like Halloween candy?”/“They don’t have the stomach for it.”
A skeleton riddle was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on September 29, 2000: Q: Why didn't the skeleton eat the cafeteria food?A: Because he didn't have the stomach for it! A similar…
“Why don’t they just make the Tupperware spaghetti colored right there at the factory?”
Tupperware often is used for spaghetti and becomes the color of spaghetti sauce. "[Million dollar idea] : Spaghetti Sauce colored Tupperware" was posted on Twitter by Wizard of…
“Why don’t vegetarians hold grudges?”/“Because they never have beef with anyone!”
"Vegetarians have no beef with anyone" is a jocular saying that has been printed on a bumper sticker. "As a vegetarian ..... I have no beef with anyone!" was posted on the…
“Why go out for hamburger, when I’ve got steak at home?”
American actor Paul Newman (1925-2008) married American actress Joanne Woodward in 1958. In a Playboy magazine interview in July 1968, Newman was asked about his 10-year marriage and the temptation…
“Why have abs when you can have kebabs?”
"Why have abs when you can have kebabs" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on January 15, 2010. TwitterCheyne Abdullah…
“Why is a colt like an egg?”/“It must be broken before it can be used.”
"Eggs as well as colts must be broken before they can be used" was printed in the Vermont Watchman & State Journal (Montpelier, VT) on May 9, 1883. "Why is an egg like a colt?…