“When I found out my microwave wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked”
A jocular one-liner about a microwave oven is: "When I found out my microwave wasn't waterproof, I was shocked." The "shocking" pun was cited on Twitter on May 21, 2012.…
“When I found out my new toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked”
"When I found out my new toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on June 23, 2010. The joke probably originated on the…
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading”
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading" is a joke that has been included in many collections of sayings about drinking. The joke has been cited in print since at…
“When I said ‘nuke the Chinese,’ I meant put the takeout in the microwave”
Microwave cooking is called "nuking." A joke has been printed on many images: "When I said 'nuke the Chinese,' I meant put the takeout in the microwave." "Time to…
“When I said butter, I actually meant ghee. I should have clarified”
Ghee is a class of clarified butter that originated in India. "When I said butter, I actually meant ghee. I should have clarified" was posted on Twitter by Sanjeev Kohli on April 10,…
“When I see a bruised apple at the grocery store, I hold it close & whisper, ‘Who did this to you?’”
Bruised fruit usually can't be blamed on a bully, but there's a joke. "When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper, 'Who did this to…
“When I was in the army I killed more men than anybody. I was the cook”
"When I was in the army I killed more men than anybody. I was the cook" is a classic joke. ' "When I was in the army I killed four hundred men. I was the cook" was printed…
“When I’m hungry, nothing is funny and everyone’s ugly”
"When I'm hungry, nothing is funny and everyone's ugly" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There have been several slight variations. "when i’m hungry…
“When I’m hungry, nothing is funny & everybody be ugly”
"When I'm hungry, nothing is funny and everyone's ugly" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There have been several slight variations. "when i’m hungry…
“When in doubt, add more wine”
"When in doubt, add/drink more wine" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "When in doubt, add more wine" was posted on Twitter by h2orocks4001 on February 28,…
“When in doubt, drink coffee and look busy”
"When in doubt, drink coffee and look busy" and "Friday goals: Drink coffee and look busy until the weekend gets here" are coffee sayings that have been printed on many images.…
“When in doubt, drink more wine”
"When in doubt, add/drink more wine" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "When in doubt, add more wine" was posted on Twitter by h2orocks4001 on February 28,…
“When in doubt, throw it out” (food spoilage rule)
"When in doubt, throw it out!" is popular advice for what to do with food that's been sitting in the refrigerator. Is the food spoiled, or can it be safely eaten? Tasting the food is…
“When in doubt, trust your gut, hug your dog, and eat a donut”
"In moments of doubt, trust your gut, hug your dog, and eat a donut" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "In moments of doubt trust your gut, hug your dog, and eat a…
“When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?”/“When it’s a FRENCH fry!”
An Irish potato riddle is: Q: When is an Irish potato not an Irish Potato?A: When it's a FRENCH fry! The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Google BooksLet's Celebrate St.…
“When is soup musical?”/“When it’s piping hot.”
A popular soup joke is: Q: When is soup musical?A: When it's served piping hot! "When is water musical?" was cited in print in 1995 and "When is a plum pudding musical" was…
“When it says on my potatoes ‘store in a cool, dark place,’ do you mean like a jazz club?”
Some things have to be stored in a "cool, dark place." "Just a note to all you comic collectors: always keep your comics in a cool dark place. I keep mine in a jazz club in the…
“When it’s night, look for the stars. When it’s morning, look for the coffee”
“When it rains, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for stars” is a popular saying. "When it rains, look for the rainbow. When it's night, look for the stars. When it's…
“When Jesus is born, I get presents. When Jesus dies, I get chocolate”
A joke about the holidays of Christmas and Easter is: "When Jesus is born, I get presents. When Jesus dies, I get chocolate.I love Jesus." "Jesus dies i get chocolate.. jesus is born…
“When life gives you a broken taco, make tortilla chips”
"When life gives you tacos, eat them" and "When life gives you broken tacos, make nachos (taco salad)" are sayings that have been printed on several images. The sayings are…