“Tofu is really kung fu for toes”
"Tofu" (a food) is very different from "kung fu" (a Chinese martial art), but there have been jokes -- especially involving toes. "What is tofu made of? My guess, toes and…
“Tofu never screams”
"Tofu never screams" is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. That is, no animals were killed in the making of tofu. "Tofu never screams" was posted on Twitter by…
“Toilet paper hoarding explained: Some people will be eating their own cooking”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused panic buying of toilet paper. Many people were puzzled by this. "Toilet paper hoarding explained...some people will be eating their own cooking for…
“Tomatoes imply the existence of tomafingers”
There are tomatoes, but no tomafingers. "Toes" and "fingers" -- get the joke? "tomatoes are descended from the now extinct tomafingers" was posted on X/Twitter by tom…
“Tonic water implies the existence of dominant water”
Tonic water has nothing to do with "tonic" of music theory, but there are jokes. "Tonic water is just water that's a little more stable than subdominant or dominant water...and…
“Tonic water implies the existence of mediant water and dominant water”
Tonic water has nothing to do with "tonic" of music theory, but there are jokes. "Tonic water is just water that's a little more stable than subdominant or dominant water...and…
“Tonic water tastes like if 7 Up had depression”
Not everyone likes tonic water. "Tonic water tastes like if 7up had depression" was posted on Twitter by 🐒 callum 🐒 on November 15, 2018. Wikipedia: Tonic water Tonic water (or…
“Tonight I’m going to have my favorite drink. It’s called ‘a lot’”
"Tonight I'm going to have my favorite drink. It's called 'a lot'" (or "Tonight, I'll be having my favorite drink. It's called a lot") is a…
“Tonight, I’ll be having my favorite drink. It’s called a lot”
"Tonight I'm going to have my favorite drink. It's called 'a lot'" (or "Tonight, I'll be having my favorite drink. It's called a lot") is a…
“Too bad alcohol isn’t heavily discounted the day after St. Patrick’s Day”
Candy is often discounted the day after Halloween and the day after Valentine's Day. Many have wished that alcohol could be discounted on the day after St. Patrick's Day. "Hmm is…
“Too many people do weightlifting with the wrong equipment - a knife and fork”
"WISH I'D SAID THAT: Too many Americans go in for weight-lifting with the wrong equipment -- a knife and fork" was in the "Earl's Pearl's" segment of…
“Too much Monday, not enough coffee”
"Too much Monday, not enough coffee" -- meaning a tough day at work -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Too much Monday, not enough coffee. Must remedy" was…
“Too much morning, not enough coffee”
"Too much morning, not enough coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "too much morning, not enough coffee" was posted on Facebook by Anastasia Jocke on…
“Took a girl to a French restaurant. She had frogs’ legs and chicken breasts. Great personality though!”
"I was in a bar in Alicante and a women on the next table had chicken breast's and frog's leg's, but she had a good personality" is a joke that was posted on Facebook by…
“Took my own lunch to work and didn’t buy a coffee today so I should be able to afford to buy a house any day now”
Some people believe that they can save a lot of money if they bring lunch to work and don't buy coffee. This was posted on X/Twitter by andy on April 6, 2022, and received over 287,000 likes:…
“Toothpaste before orange juice equals death”
Brushing one's teeth with toothpaste and then drinking orange juice results in an unpleasant taste, but it's usually not fatal. "Beer before liquor, never sicker" is an old…
“Tootsie Rolls are just chocolate Starbursts”
A Tootsie Roll is a chocolate-like, taffy-like candy, first made in 1907. A Starburst is a box-shaped, fruit-flavored soft taffy candy, first manufactured in the 1960s. "Apparently Tootsie…
“Top Ramen implies the existence of Bottom Ramen”
Nissin Foods produces Top Ramen noodles; there is no "Middle Ramen" or "Bottom Ramen," but there are jokes. “I’m so broke, I can only afford Bottom Ramen” is a related…
“Tortellini is a beautiful name for a daughter”
Tortellini is a type of stuffed pasta. Some people like the name. "i think pesto tortellini is a beautiful name for someone of any gender" was posted on X/Twitter by liv on June 25, 2020.…
“Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it”
"Put your hair (up) in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it" (or "Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it") is a motivational saying…