“When you don’t know whether or not someone is eating something, are they omnomymous?”
"Nom nom" is the sound of that the Cookie Monster Muppet character from the children's television show Sesame Street makes when he eats. "Omnomynous" (or…
“When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow”
"When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow" is a saying about alcohol that ha been printed on many images. "Getting drunk is borrowing happiness from…
“When you get a wine hangover, it’s called the grape depression”
"When you get a wine hangover, it's called the grape depression" is a jocular line that has been printed on many posters and ecards. "I hereby rename my hangover the Grape…
“When you get older you form very strong opinions on different varieties of apples”
Does a person appreciate apple varieties more as one gets older? "So, when you get older you form very strong opinions on different varieties of apples" was posted on Twitter by Brian…
“When you heat up leftovers from Thanksgiving, you’re quitting cold turkey”
"Cold turkey" (an abrupt cessation of a substance dependence) has nothing to do with Thanksgiving leftovers, but there are jokes. "Show me a man who throws Thanksgiving leftovers in…
“When you leave New York, your next good meal will be in San Francisco”
Yes, there's good food in New York and there's good food San Francisco. Some say that you can get a good meal in New Orleans. See "Names and Phrases" for other ways to finish…
“When you said ‘friends with benefits,’ I assumed you owned a donut shop”
"When you said 'friends with benefits,' I assumed you owned a liquor store" -- or taco truck, or coffee shop -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“When you settle for crumbs you end up starving”
"When you settle for crumbs you will always be starving" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "THE PROBLEM IS: When you settle for crumbs you end up starving" was…
“When you settle for crumbs you will always be starving”
"When you settle for crumbs you will always be starving" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "THE PROBLEM IS: When you settle for crumbs you end up starving" was…
“When you’re downie, eat a brownie”
"When you're downie, eat a brownie" (or "Feeling downie? Eat a brownie!") is a food saying that has been printed on many images. "Don't be a Downie, eat a…
“Whenever I see a commercial with a woman in a tub with two cucumber slices on her eyes…”
"Whenever I see a commercial with a woman looking fully relaxed in a tub with cucumber slices on her eyes, I wonder where the rest of it is" is a jocular saying that was posted on Twitter…
“Whenever I see other people pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway, I’m like okay…”
"I always see adults pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway and I’m like okay one of us is doing it wrong and I think it’s you" and "Sometimes I see people pour a glass of…
“Whenever I want a Klondike bar, I just pay for it”
A Klondike bar is an ice cream bar coated with a thin layer of chocolate. "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" is a memorable ad jingle that began in 1982. "When I want a Klondike…
“Whenever my wife packs me salad for lunch, all I wanna know is what I did wrong”
"Whenever my wife packs me salad for lunch, all I wanna know is what I did wrong" is a jocular line from someone who wants something more filling than salad. The saying was posted on…
“Where can a burger get a great night’s sleep?”/“On a bed of lettuce.”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: Where can a burger get a great night's sleep? A: On a bed of lettuce! The joke was printed in the book One Hundred and One Hamburger Jokes (1978) by Phil Hirsch.…
“Where can I buy seeds to plant a beer garden?”
The word "garden" usually evokes images of plants, such as tomato plants. A garden usually doesn't grow beer. "Where do you get the seeds to start a beer garden?" was…
“Where can I get scrod?” (joke)
"Scrod" is a fish and not the passive pluperfect subjunctive of the word "screwed," but there are jokes. A version of an old poem was printed in Time magazine in 1962:…
“Where can you get vegan beef?”/“From a vegetabull.”
"Vegetabull" is a portmanteau of "vegetable" and "bull." "Where can you get vegan beef? From a vegetabull" was posted on Twitter by World of Puns on…
“Where can you learn how to make ice cream?” (joke)
"Sundae"/"Sunday" is included in a popular pun: Q: Where can you learn how to make ice cream?A: Sundae school. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001-02. Google…
“Where did the first corn come from?”/“The stalk brought it.”
The stork might bring babies, but what brings corn? There's a Thanksgiving riddle: Q: Where did the first corn come from?A: The stalk brought it. The riddle has been cited in print since at…