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November 27, 2020
Food/Drink

“The onion is the only vegetable that fights back”

Onions, when sliced, can make people cry. "Vegetables that fight back: onions make you cry; garlic secretes vile-smelling substance all over your hands" was posted on Twitter by Stephany…

August 1, 2020
Food/Drink

“The only Apple product that I can afford to buy is apple juice”

An "Apple product" usually does not refer to the fruit, but there are jokes. "I am going to buy an Apple product this morning.. Guess which? Options: Fruit, Natural juice, or…

January 9, 2025
Food/DrinkRestaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food StoresTime/Weather

“The only blizzard conditions I am interested in are from Dairy Queen”

"The only blizzard conditions I am interested in are from Dairy Queen" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Dairy Queen is an American multinational fast food chain,…

January 25, 2026
Food/DrinkRestaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food StoresTime/Weather

“The only blizzard I am interested in is from Dairy Queen”

"The only blizzard conditions I am interested in are from Dairy Queen" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Dairy Queen is an American multinational fast food chain,…

October 8, 2022
Food/Drink

“The only bottomless brunch I’ve had is when my kids refuse to wear pants at the breakfast table”

A "bottomless brunch" is a brunch that has a fixed price, for many dishes of food and unlimited drinks. It does not mean that the diners do not wear pants, but there are jokes.…

January 6, 2021
Food/Drink

“The only BS I have time for is Burritos & Salsa”

"There's no room for BS in my life, unless it's Burritos and Salsa" (or "The only BS I have time for is Burritos & Salsa") is a jocular saying that has been…

November 18, 2020
Food/Drink

“The only difference between Lunchables and a charcuterie board is class aesthetics”

Charcuterie boards have a selection of foods (such as meats and cheeses), and this has been compared to Lunchables (a brand of food and snacks popular with children). "Quote of the day…

May 3, 2019
Food/Drink

“The only downside to Cinco de Mayo is Seis de Hangover”

"The only downside to Cinco de Mayo is Seis de Hangover" (or simply "Happy Seis de Hangover") is a jocular saying about the day after May 5th (Cinco de Mayo) that has been…

September 30, 2022
Food/Drink

“The only good substitute for a coffee is two coffees”

"The only good substitute for (a) coffee is two coffees" (or "The only good substitute for a cup of coffee is two cups of coffee") is a saying that has been printed on many…

September 30, 2022
Food/Drink

“The only good substitute for a cup of coffee is two cups of coffee”

"The only good substitute for (a) coffee is two coffees" (or "The only good substitute for a cup of coffee is two cups of coffee") is a saying that has been printed on many…

September 30, 2022
Food/Drink

“The only good substitute for coffee is two coffees”

"The only good substitute for (a) coffee is two coffees" (or "The only good substitute for a cup of coffee is two cups of coffee") is a saying that has been printed on many…

April 10, 2019
Food/Drink

“The only man worth chasing this summer is the ice cream man”

"The only man worth chasing this summer is the ice cream man" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "Seriously, the only man worth chasing is the fucking ice…

January 19, 2023
Food/Drink

“The only reason I get up early on a Sunday is coffee”

"The only reason I'm up this early on a Sunday is the Coffee" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by "Laughing with a mouthful of Coffee" on March 29, 2020, and…

June 28, 2015
Food/Drink

“The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality”

"The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was cited on…

February 18, 2023
Food/Drink

“The only reason I’m up this early on a Sunday is the coffee”

"The only reason I'm up this early on a Sunday is the Coffee" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by "Laughing with a mouthful of Coffee" on March 29, 2020, and…

February 27, 2022
Food/Drink

“The only soda that will survive the apocalypse is Dr. Prepper”

Dr Prepper (Dr Pepper + prepper) is a fictional soft drink name that has been printed on many images. "I'm a Prepper - Dr Prepper: I'm a Prepper - Dr Prepper. A funny soft drink…

February 25, 2017
Food/Drink

“The only stock options I have are chicken and beef”

"The only stock options I have are chicken and beef" is a jocular one-line saying. "Just padded my stock options. Now I got both chicken and beef stocks" was posted on Twitter…

April 12, 2021
Food/Drink

“The only technique I’ve mastered from watching cooking shows is screaming”

"The only technique I’ve mastered from watching cooking shows is screaming and swearing at everyone in the kitchen" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The…

October 5, 2022
Food/Drink

“The only thing a vegan can kill is a conversation”

British-Irish comedian Jimmy Carr told a joke about vegans on the television British game show A League of Their Own on October 3, 2019. "'You’re a vegan aren’t you, Romesh?' ...…

October 5, 2022
Food/Drink

“The only thing a vegan kills is a conversation”

British-Irish comedian Jimmy Carr told a joke about vegans on the television British game show A League of Their Own on October 3, 2019. "'You’re a vegan aren’t you, Romesh?' ...…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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