“What do you call a woman who trades sex for spaghetti?”/“A pastatute.”
"Pastatute" (pasta + prostitute) has been used in several jokes. "I caught (Tonight Show host Johnny -- ed.) Carson's monologue last night...it was one of his better ones.…
“What do you call a woman with a toothpick up her bum?”/“Olive.”
Olives are often eaten with toothpicks -- especially the olives served in alcoholic drinks. A joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on January 9, 1992: Q: What do you call a lady with a…
“What do you call a zombie who stir fries?”/“Dead Man Wokking.”
There have been several puns on the title of the fil Dead Man Walking (1995). "I've got the best idea for a movie. It's about a zombie who becomes a chinese food chef. I call it…
“What do you call advice from a cow?”/“Beef tips.”
"Beef tips" is a dish and has nothing to do with advice from a cow, but there are jokes. "If I give a cow advice is that 'beef tips'" was posted on Twitter by Deion…
“What do you call aged pasta?”/“Ravioldi.”
Is old ravioli called "ravioldi"? "My Bro Said (Ravioldi!)" was posted on Twitter on February 8, 2012. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 14, 2017: Q: What do…
“What do you call an alien who eats too much cheese, egg yolks & animal fat?”/“An extra cholesterol”
A pun on the movie E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) has been cited in print since at least 1998: Q: What do you call a fat alien?A: An extra-cholesterol! A slightly different version was posted on…
“What do you call an angry carrot?”/“A steamed veggie.”
A food riddle is: Q: What do you call an angry carrot?A: A steamed veggie. "got this from the veggie tales Facebook. what do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie" was posted on…
“What do you call an angry nut?”/“A pissed-achio.”
"Pistachio" sounds like "pissed-achio," and there are jokes. "Hmmmmmmmm! Just finished a large bag of pissed achios and some plum brandy" was posted on the newsgroup…
“What do you call an annoyed lobster?”/“A frustacean.”
A lobster riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on December 28, 2019: Q: What do you call an annoyed lobster?A: A frustacean. "Frustacean" (frustration + crustacean) is a portmanteau…
“What do you call an athletic pumpkin?”/“A jock o’ lantern.”
A Halloween riddle is: Q: What do you call an athletic pumpkin?A: A jock o' lantern. "Jock" is added to the term "jack o' lantern." "what do you call a very…
“What do you call an emo vegetable?”/“A despair-agus.”
"Despairagus" (despair + asparagus) is a portmanteau word that has been called the "saddest vegetable." The word "despairagus" was used in the newsgroup rec.humor in…
“What do you call an empty hot dog?/“A halloweenie.”
A Halloween hot dog riddle is: Q: What do you call an empty hot dog?A: A hollow weenie. "WHY IS TODAY LIKE AN EMPTY HOT DOG? (...) BECAUSE IT'S HALLOWEENIE!" was printed in "The…
“What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?”/“Cheese was.”
Cheez Whiz (often misspelled as Cheese Whiz or Cheese Wiz) is a processed cheese sauce and the subject of a popular food pun: Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?A: Cheese was.…
“What do you call an enchilada in England?”/“A centimeterilada.”
There are no inches in the word "enchilada," but there are jokes about a "centimeterlada" or "centimeterilada." "Is this an enchilada or a centimeterlada?"…
“What do you call an everyday potato?”/“A commentator.”
The potato has a few "-tater" jokes, such as: Q: What do you call an everyday potato?A: A commentator. "Common-tater" was cited in print in 1991. "Definition of a…
“What do you call an expired avocado?”/“Guaca-moldy.”
"Guacamoldy" (guacamole + moldy) is a portmanteau word that is used for guacamole and/or avocado. A riddle was posted in the Wisconsin State Journal (Madison, WI) on April 5, 2004: Q:…
“What do you call an indecisive potato?”/“A hesi-tater.”
Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…
“What do you call an irritated lobster?”/“A frustracean.”
A lobster riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on December 28, 2019: Q: What do you call an annoyed lobster?A: A frustacean. "Frustacean" (frustration + crustacean) is a portmanteau…
“What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?”/“A desserted island.”
People often confuse a "desert" island with a "dessert" island. "What do you call an island that tastes good? A Desserted island" was posted on Twitter on July 8,…
“What do you call an opossum who goes back for seconds in the soup line?”/“A more-soup-ial.”
"Marsupial" has nothing to do with soup, but there are "more-soup-ial" jokes. Some jokes connect to the Charles Dickens's 1838 novel Oliver Twist and musical Oliver! (1960,…