“Throw away the fish, eat the plank” (joke)
Carp is not a fish that many people choose to eat. A jocular recipe details a long preparation, ending, "throw away the fish and eat the board/plank/shingle. This is said to be the best part…
“Throwing spaghetti against the wall”
"Like nailing jello/jelly to the wall" is a related expression that Theodore Roosevelt coined in 1912. TwitterSPXGODFATHER@RolfHaag3$SPX Option Traders: on an average day my cost of…
“Tick taco” (tick tock + taco)
A clock is said to go "tick-tock." A clock riddle is: Q: What do Spanish clocks say?A: Tick taco. The "Spanish clock" joke was posted on Twitter on July 3, 2017. "Tick…
“Tie one on” (to get drunk)
To "tie one on" means to become drunk. A March 1933 newspaper article on American slang defined it, "tie one on, to become intoxicated." It's not explained what is being…
“Tighter than the skin on a grape”
"Tighter than the skin on a grape" means very tight, such as someone tight with money or a tight sporting contest. "Tighter than the skin on a grape" has been cited in print…
“Till now I don’t know what my talent is… maybe eating”
"Till now I don't know what my talent is... maybe eating" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Till now I don't know what my talent is... Maybe eating…
“Time flies like an arrow: fruit flies like a banana”
"Time flies like an arrow: fruit flies like a banana" is often credited to the comedian Groucho Marx (1890-1977), but Marx -- if he ever said it -- almost certainly has nothing to do with…
“Time flies when you’re having rum”
"Time flies when you're having fun" is a proverb that has been cited in print since 1933. "Time flies when you're having rum" is a jocular variant that has been…
“Time is money. Money is power. Power is pizza. Pizza is knowledge”
"Time is money. Money is power. Power is pizza. Pizza is knowledge" is a jocular pizza saying that has been printed on many images. The character of April Ludgate (played by the actor…
“Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time”
"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time" is a drinking saying that appears in many quotation collections. The saying has been attributed to Catherine Zandonella since…
“Time to make the donuts”
Dunkin' Donuts had an advertising campaign (1982-97) that featured "Fred the Baker" (actor Michael Vale). In one memorable 1983 commercial, Fred was shown to get up very early in the…
“Times are tough. Thinking of cooking a rump roast just to make ends meat”
Do people who cook rump roast (rump steak) try to "make ends meat"? This is a pun, of course, on "make ends meet." "thinks cooking a rump roast is making ends meat..."…
“Tipping is not a city in China”
"Tipping is not a city in China" is a sentence placed on many restaurant tip jars, a friendly reminder to the customers that tips are welcome. The saying dates to at least 1975, when New…
“Tiramisu is just dessert lasagna”
Baklava, cake and tiramisu (layered desserts) have been called "dessert lasagna" or "dessert lasagne." Lasagna ("lasagne" is plural) is a layered pasta dish.…
“Tiramisu sounds a lot more Japanese than Italian”
Many people believe that "tiramisu" (an Italian dessert, meaning "pick me up" or "cheer me up") sounds more Japanese than Italian. "Anyone else ever think…
“Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta? Boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week…”
"Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta? Boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“To avoid cracked, dry skin this winter, take half a lemon, a bottle of tequila, salt, and don’t go outside”
"To avoid cracked, dry skin this winter, take half a lemon, a bottle of tequila, salt, and don’t go outside" -- that is, have a Margarita cocktail -- is a jocular saying that has been…
“To beer or not to beer, that’s a stupid question—Shakesbeere”
"To beer or not to beer, that's a stupid question -- Shakesbeer(e)" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The pun is on the famous "To be, or not to be"…
“To brie or not to brie” (cheese pun)
"To be or not to be" is the famous opening phrase of Prince Hamlet's soliloquy in William Shakespeare's play Hamlet. "To brie or not to brie" is a jocular cheese…
“To die for” (an excellent food dish)
"To die for" means something that is so desirable that it is worth the ultimate sacrifice; the saying is usually made in jest. A new car or a foreign vacation or a house might be "to…