“How do you make extra virgin olive oil?”/“Use extra ugly olives.”
"Extra virgin" olive oil comes from the first cold press of the olives, but there are "virgin" jokes. "And where do you get extra virgin olive oil? From exceptionally ugly…
“How do you make hard cider?”/“Put it in the freezer.”
A joke about hard cider is: Q: How do you make hard cider?A: Put it in the freezer. "How do you make hard cider? .................. Freeze it" was cited on Twitter on April 22, 2011. The…
“How do you make Manischewitz wine?”/“Kick him in the nuts.”
"Wine" sounds similar to "whine." "How do you make a Frenchman whine? Kick him in the Beaujolais!" was printed in the Calgary (Alberta) Herald on March 5, 1993. A…
“How do you make rice wine cold?”/“Remove the ‘r.’”
"Rice wine" is just one letter from "ice wine." A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Clean Jokes on January 1, 2018: Q: How do you make rice wine cold?A: Remove the "r."…
“How do you make strange bread?”/“Use weirdough.”
"Weirdo" is sometimes jocularly written as "weirdough" (weird/weirdo + dough). "Crêpe" can sound like "creep," and "donut" like "do…
“How do you make Swiss cheese?”/“With a holey cow.”
A riddle about the holes in Swiss cheese is: Q: How do you make Swiss cheese?A: with a holey cow. "Do they use holy cows to make Swiss Cheese?" was posted on Twitter on April 5, 2009.…
“How do you milk chocolate?”
"Milk chocolate" is a noun. It should not be confused with the verb "milk" chocolate, but there are jokes. "Thought to ponder - how does one 'milk'…
“How do you prepare your turkey for Thanksgiving?”/“Oh, I just tell him he’s going to die.”
"Preparing" a turkey usually means cooking instructions, but not according to a Thanksgiving/Christmas turkey joke. This was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on December 21, 2002:…
“How do you reset your body back to factory settings? Is it kale? It’s kale, isn’t it?”
Many people really do not like kale, no matter the health benefits. This was posted on Twitter by Benny 'Top Dog' Rollins on July 14, 2015: "How do you restore your body back to…
“How do you say goodnight to a tortilla chip?”/“Buenos Nachos!”
"Buenos noches" (good night) shouldn't be confused with "nachos" (a food), but there are jokes. "How do you say midnight snack in Spanish? Buenos NACHOS" was…
“How do you shock chicken broth?”/“With a soup-rise.”
"Surprise" sounds a bit like "soup rise." "How do you scare a gazpacho? With a soup-rise!" was posted on Twitter by Alex Lea on January 6, 2012. "How do you shock…
“How do you spell candy with two letters?”/“C and Y.”
An old riddle about candy is: Q: How do you spell "candy" in two letters?A: C and Y. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1903. 14 April 1903, Boston (MA) Globe, pg. 10, col.…
“How do you start a pudding race?”/“Sago.”
A riddle about sago pudding is: Q: How do you start a pudding race?A: Sago (say go). The "sago"/"say go" pun has been cited in print since at least 1978. “How do you start a…
“How do you start a rice pudding race?”/“Sago.”
A riddle about sago pudding is: Q: How do you start a rice pudding race? A: Sago (say go). This riddle version as been cited in print since at least 2007. “How do you start a pudding…
“How do you steam clams?”/“Make fun of their religion.”
The word "steam" can mean "to anger" and a person can have a "clammy" personality, as in the joke: Q: How do you steam clams?A: Make fun of their religion. "Very…
“How do you survive an Irish vampire?”/“Repel him with Gaelic.”
"Garlic" should not be confused with "Gaelic," but there are jokes. "How do you survive an Irish vampire? Repel him with Gaelic" was posted on Twitter by Kev Murphy on…
“How do you tell a proper joke about eating?”/“In jest.”
"Ingest" sounds like "in jest." "I was going to write a joke about eating disorders, but it was tough to, in jest" was posted on Twitter on June 7, 2013. A riddle was…
“How do you tune a fish?”/“With its scales.”
A tuna fish riddle is: Q: How do you tune a (tuna) fish?A: With its scales. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1916. “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish” is a related…
“How do you turn a T into a P?”/“Drink it.”
A tea riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on November 25, 2017: Q: How do you turn a T into a P?A: Drink it. “What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?”/"A teapot" is…
“How do you turn milk into cheese?”/“Put it in solid dairy confinement.”
"Solitary confinement" shouldn't be confused with "solid dairy confinement," but there are jokes. "Where do you put illegal cheese? Solid dairy confinement!" was…