“How come ‘you’re a peach’ is a compliment but ‘you’re bananas’ is an insult?”
"How come 'you're a peach' is a compliment but 'you're bananas' is an insult?" That's a good question. Peaches are soft and fuzzy. A woman might have a…
“How come alcohol never kills brain cells that make me want to drink?”
“How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?” ~Anonymous" has been cited in print since at least September 2007 and has been…
“How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics?”
Ants always seem to be working, and there's a joke: "How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics?" The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“How come liquor stores don’t have empty shelves? People are about to be quarantined with spouses”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak saw people panic buying items such as water and toilet paper. "Why don’t liquor stores have empty shelves?? Do people not realize they’re about to be…
“How come married women are heavier than single women?” (joke)
A joke comparing the weight of married women and single women was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 24, 2016: "Why are married women always fatter than single women? Single women come home,…
“How come, if ants are always so busy, they always get time to show up at picnics?”
Ants have a worker reputation, but is it true? "How can ants be such hard workers when they always have time to show up at picnics?" is a jocular line that was printed in a 1973…
“How did the blonde die drinking milk?”/“The cow fell on top of her.”
People usually don't die from drinking milk, but a popular riddle is: Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?A: The cow fell on top of her. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…
“How did the butcher introduce his wife?”/“Meat Patty!”
A popular joke about a butcher goes: Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife?A: Meat/Meet Patty! The "meat patty" joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. 12 September 1999,…
“How did the cheesemaker paint his wife?”/“He Double Gloucester.”
"Double Gloucester" is a cheese, but it sounds like "double glossed her." "I missed all that, 'cos I was giving my sister two coats of paint. Yes, I double glossed…
“How did the eggs leave the highway?”/“They went through the ‘eggs-it’.”
An egg riddle (popular at Easter) is: Q: How did the eggs leave the highway?A: They went through the "eggs-it." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Google BooksFunny…
“How did the gingerbread man wind up with one leg?”/“He lost the other in Nom.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- DadjokesPosted by u/MelkorHimself December 21, 2019How did the gingerbread man wind up with one leg?He lost the other in Nom.
“How did the hipster burn his tongue?” (joke)
"How did the hipster burn his tongue?" is a popular joke, with the answer being that the hipster had coffee or pizza "before it was cool." "I tried being a hipster by…
“How did the jury find the hamburger?”/“Grill-ty as charred.”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: How did the jury find the hamburger?A: Grill-ty as charred. The hamburger joke has been cited in print since at least 1978. “What did the hamburger say when it pleaded…
“How did the old French cheese-maker die?”/“From age.”
"Fromage" (French for "cheese") has nothing to do with the English words "from age," but there are jokes. "A One hundred year old man died after eating some…
“How did the vegan fix her flat?”/“A spare I guess.”
"A spare I guess" for "asparagus" is a pun that has been printed on several images. A bowling "spare" asparagus pun is the most popular. "The joke will have…
“How did the wine glass get home?”/“A cab.”
A cab (a taxi) should not be confused with a Cab (Cabernet Sauvignon), but there are jokes. "Went to a lovely wine tasting and took a cab home. very indulgent" was posted on Twitter on…
“How did you find your steak?” (joke)
"How did you find your steak, sir?" a waiter asks a customer. The waiter wants to know if the steak had been cooked to the customer's liking (How did you find your steak cooked) --…
“How do brackish fish communicate?”/“Using tilapiathy.”
Telepathy doesn't have anything to do with fish, but the term "tilapiathy" (tilapia + telepathy) has been used in many jokes. "Did you hear about the fish who could see into the…
“How do elves eat their pancakes?”/“In short stacks.”
A pancake riddle is: Q: How do elves/leprechauns eat their pancakes?A: In short stacks. The joke was posted on Twitter on June 5, 2015. TwitterMario Alberto Chavez@Supremekingj24How do elves eat…
“How do fish lose weight?”/“They Swim-fast.”
A riddle based on SlimFast dietary supplement foods is: Q: How do fish lose weight?A: They Swim-fast. "How do fish lose weight? Swimfast" was posted on Twitter by Natasha on July 10,…