“My child is an honor student” (bumper sticker)
"My child is an honor(s) student at ____ school" is a bumper sticker that many schools have handed out. "My Child Is An HONOR STUDENT In The Durant Public Schools" (in Druant,…
“My college graduation was in an arena, and it was hot in there, like 5,000 degrees”
Many college graduations are held inside in arenas, where over 1,000 degrees may be handed out. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 26, 2017: "My college graduation was held inside the…
“My daughter asked why she can’t just quit school and I told her it’s against the law…”
A joke about compulsory school was posted on X/Twitter by ceciATL on Januay 28, 2021, and this received over one million likes: "My daughter asked why she can’t just quit school and I told…
“My daughter said she saw a deer on the way to school. How did she know it was going to school?”
A school joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on October 17, 2020: "My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.Me: 'How do you know it was going to school?'"…
“My diving school has gone under”
A company that's bankrupt and closes is said to have "gone under" (as if buried). There are several diving company/school jokes. "Friend's had to cancel his deep sea diving…
“My dog ate my homework and then a migrant ate my dog”
In September 2024, a Springfield, Ohio pet-eating rumor was that Haitian immigrants were eating people's pets (cats and dogs). A new spin was provided on the jocular student homework excuse,…
“My dog ate my homework and then an immigrant ate my dog”
In September 2024, a Springfield, Ohio pet-eating rumor was that Haitian immigrants were eating people's pets (cats and dogs). A new spin was provided on the jocular student homework excuse,…
“My English teacher always told me that spelling doesn’t matter because we’ll have autocorrect”
"My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect. And for that I am eternally grapefruit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“My favorite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle. Strange name, but she tortoise well”
"Tortoise" can sound like "taught us." "As strange as it was that my teacher wore a shell on her back, she tortoise well. #fit" was posted on Twitter by Jonathan…
“My French teacher has retired. Adios, amigo”
"My french teacher died. Adios, buddy" was posted on Reddit -- Sixwordstories on June 21, 2016. "After a long and effective career, my French teacher finally retired. Adios,…
“My friend has just passed his master’s degree in salad studies. He now has lettuce after his name”
People with many degrees have many letters after their names. This shouldn't be confused with "lettuce" after a name, but there are jokes. "Q: Why was the rabbit called Peter…
“My friend shouted, “You have a BA, a Masters and a PhD, but you still act like an idiot!’” (joke)
A "third degree burn" doesn't involve three college degrees, but a joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on April 22, 2018: "My friend said, 'You have a BA, Masters and a…
“My friends and I experimented with drugs and sex in high school. I was part of the control group”
"My friends and I experimented with drugs and sex in high school. I was part of the control group" is a popular joke. The control group consists of people who do not get the drugs and…
“My Geography teacher died yesterday. Well, he is History now”
There's a difference between being a History teacher and being history. "That English teacher they sent up (into space and died -- ed.)? She is history now" was posted on Twitter on…
“My high school was so small we had driver’s ed and sex ed in the same car”
"My high school was so small we had driver's education and sex education in the same car" is a joke that has been told by many people. This was printed in the Philadelphia (PA) Daily…
“My homework ate my dog”
“The dog ate my homework” is an old, lame excuse for a student not handing in homework on time. "My homework ate my dog" has been the subject of several jokes. A
“My husband asked me to act like a ‘naughty school girl’ for him so I forged a note from my mother”
"My husband asked me to act like a 'naughty school girl' for him so I forged a note from my mother saying I don’t have to participate" is a sex joke that was posted on Twitter…
“My kid beat up your honor student” (bumper sticker)
Many automobile bumper stickers declare that a driver's child has made a school's honor roll. "My kid beat up your honor student" is a jocular bumper sticker reply. "My kid…
“My kid got your honor student pregnant” (bumper sticker)
Many automobile bumper stickers declare that a driver's child has made a school's honor roll. "My kid got your honor(s) student pregnant" is a jocular bumper sticker reply.…
“My kid is an honor student at a dumbed-down government indoctrination camp” (bumper sticker)
"My kid is an honor student at a dumbed-down government indoctrination camp" is a jocular saying that has been printed on a bumper sticker. It is a parody of the “My child is an honor…