“My math teacher called me average. Well, that’s just mean”
"My math teacher called me average. Well, that's just mean" is a popular math joke. (A "mean" is an "average.") "My math teacher called me average. Well…
“My mom always tells me I’m special, but I can’t figure out who this Ed guy is!”
"Special ed" means "special education," not a "special" guy named "Ed." "My friends call me special, but i cant figure out who this ed guy is!!!!"…
“My nerdy friend got a Ph.D. on the history of palindromes. He is now known as ‘Dr. Awkward’”
"Dr. Awkward" is a palindrome -- that is, it reads the same backwards and forwards. "I have a Ph.D in awkwardness... Call me Dr. Awkward" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by…
“My nickname at school was glue. I don’t know why, it just seemed to stick”
Many people have school nicknames. "Ever since school my nickname has been glue, and its stuck ever since" was posted on Twitter on June 20, 2012. "My nickname at school was glue. I…
“My obsession with decimals. It’s in tenths!”
"In tenths" can sound like "intense." "unless you go with a group of 10 then its in tenths" was posted on Twitter by RandaddyPurpsGrapes on March 18, 2013. "My…
“My old school bully still takes my lunch money…” (joke)
A joke about a school bully is: "To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches." That is, the old…
“My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow”
"My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow" -- "Achilles' heel" is correct -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“My professor told me that I’m failing ethics class. I slid $20 and asked, ‘What about now?’”
A viral ethics joke (over 100,000 likes) was posted on Twitter by "hype" on August 11, 2019: law professor: you're currently failing your ethics classme: *slides a $20 across the…
“My school was so tough, the school newspaper had an obituary section”
"My school was so rough/tough, the school newspaper had an obituary column/section" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "I live in a tough neighborhood. My…
“My school’s development office will find me” (alumni joke)
Many alumni joke that their school's development office always seem to find them to ask for money. The joke was told about Bates College in 2004 and about Harvard University in 2007 and 2011.…
“My son goes to a private school. He won’t tell me where it is!”
New York-based stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) told a joke about private school: "My kid drives me nuts. For three years now he goes to a private school. He won't tell me…
“My son said he was smart so I asked him to spell it…” (joke)
This smart joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on September 7, 2022: "My son said he was smart so I asked him to spell it.'S-M-A-R-T' he said.I’ve never been more…
“My student friend says he’s studying forensics…” (joke)
"Forensics" sounds like "four and six," and there are jokes. "Forensics: FORENSICS is ten. (Gary Hallock)" is a jocular definition that was posted on the newsgroup…
“My study breaks are longer than my actual study time”
"My study breaks are longer than my actual study time" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by True Teen Quotes on September 8, 2010.…
“My teacher doesn’t know anything. All she does is ask questions”
Teachers ask a lot of questions, prompting a student's comic lament: "My teacher doesn't know anything. All she does is ask questions!" The comic strip Gasoline Alley, by Frank…
“My teacher told me guns kill people. I told her my pencil failed my A levels”
"My teacher told me guns kill people... I told her my pencil failed my math exam" is a saying that has been printed on a popular image. It's not known who created the image. The…
“My teacher told me guns kill people. I told her my pencil failed my math exam”
"My teacher told me guns kill people... I told her my pencil failed my math exam" is a saying that has been printed on a popular image. It's not known who created the image. The…
“My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect”
"My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect. And for that I am eternally grapefruit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“My unicorn ate my homework”
"My unicorn ate my homework" -- a joke on the lame excuse of "the dog ate my homework" -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The Rainbow Unicorn ate my…
“My wife and I met while studying to be opthalmologists. We were eye school sweethearts”
Some people marry after being high school sweethearts. A joke was posted on Facebook by Charles Alzamora (to Home Groan Puns) on April 23, 2023: "My wife and I met while studying to be…