“I got voted ‘least likely to succeed’ by my high school class” (joke)
A teacher joke was posted by Jamie Tighe on Twitter on January 21, 2014: "I got voted 'Least Likely To Succeed' by my high school class. Christ I hate being a teacher." The joke…
“I had to walk to school uphill, both ways! – M.C. Escher”
“I used to walk five miles to and from school, uphill both ways” is a joke on what some parents tell children. However, sometimes the speaker is stated to be Dutch graphic artist M. C. Escher…
“I hate chewing gum underneath school tables. I wish I was comfortable enough to do it in public”
Many people put gum underneath school tables -- to the disgust of others who find it. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 25, 2017: "I hate chewing gum underneath school tables. I…
“I hate connect-the-dot puzzles. That’s where I draw the line”
"Draw the line" is an expression to describe the limit of what a person will tolerate. It usually doesn't involve actually drawing a line, but there are jokes. "Show your kid…
“I hate it when I lose stuff at school, like my pencils and papers and life ambitions”
"I hate when I lose stuff at school like my pens, worksheets, & life ambitions" is a jocular anti-school saying that was posted on Twitter by Kendra allison on November 16, 2012.…
“I heard 8/10 Americans are bad at math. Glad to know I’m in the other 2%”
Americans are bad at math, but good at jokes. "60% of Americans are bad at math, but I'm in the other 90%" was posted on Twitter by Megan Amram on September 14, 2010. "I heard…
“I homeschool because I have seen the village and I don’t want it raising my children”
"It takes a village to raise a child" is an African proverb. "I homeschool because I have seen the village and I don't want it raising my children" (or "We homeschool…
“I knew school wasn’t for me when I cheated on a test and still failed”
Failing a test is bad. Failing an open book test very bad. Cheating and still failing a test is also very bad. "#worstfeeling cheating on a test and still failing smh" was posted on…
“I knew school wasn’t for me when I failed an open book test”
Failing a test is bad. Failing an open book test very bad. Cheating and still failing a test is also very bad. "#worstfeeling cheating on a test and still failing smh" was posted on…
“I know every single digit of pi. Just not in the right order”
The number π ("pi") is a mathematical constant, the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. The first digits are 3.14159. "I know every digit of pi in base 10!…
“I know several jokes in sign language. I guarantee nobody has ever heard them”
Sign language is not a spoken language. A joke was posted on AskReddit on July 9, 2020: "I know several jokes in sign language. I guarantee nobody has ever heard them." Reddit --…
“I leave homework for the last day because I’ll be older and wiser”
"I leave homework to the last day because I'll be older and therefore wiser" is a jocular saying that has been printed on posters and ecards. The joke was first cited on Twitter on…
“I like doing multiplications, sum times”
"Some times" is expressed in math puns as "sum times." "math final. 'hey do you know your multiplication?....sum times!!' yayyyy" was posted on Twitter by…
“I like school. I just don’t enjoy the learning part”
Many people like school for socializing, but not for the schoolwork. "I like school, I just don't enjoy the learning part" was posted on Twitter by FUNNY TWEETS on January 9, 2017.…
“I long for the day when we have to run bake sales to raise money for bombs”
"It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the air force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber" has been a popular bumper sticker. The origin of the saying…
“I love reunions. They’re old school”
"Reunions are old school" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on T-shirts. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 20, 2010. "I love reunions; they're old…
“I met my girlfriend at an African language class. We just clicked!”
The African Khoisan languages share click consonants. "Met a lovely lady at my Khoisan language class. Amazing how we just clicked" was posted on Twitter by Tom Fox on October 24, 2014.…
“I miss skipping school. Calling out of work is too serious”
"I miss skipping school. Calling out of work is too serious" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I miss skipping school. Calling out of work is too serious 😅"…
“I missed the cosmetics exam. I had to do a makeup test”
When a student misses or fails an exam, he or she often has to take a "makeup test." It does not involve cosmetics, but there are several puns, such as this one from 2002: "The other…
“I never knew I could drop out of school until the ‘Be cool, stay in school’ guy gave a speech”
"Be cool -- stay in school" is an education slogan that has been trademarked with a first use of 2016. Some people, however, didn't know that not going to school was a legal option.…