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June 9, 2024
Education/Schools

“I could only afford a second hand calculator and the ‘X’ button was missing. Times were hard”

The saying "times were hard" usually has nothing to do with multiplication, but there are jokes. "I was never privileged at school, I had to use a second-hand calculator which had…

October 16, 2025
Education/Schools

“I couldn’t believe it today when I came home and my wife said that my 5-year-old son wasn’t mine…”

Fathers can be pretty bad at picking up a child at school, and there's a joke about this. "When I came home I was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn't mine. She was right I…

June 18, 2020
Education/Schools

“I couldn’t wait to go to university. But when I got there, it was just people from Earth”

A university does not have people from all over the universe, but there are jokes. "I couldn't wait to leave school and go to university. But when I got there, it was just people from…

July 28, 2018
Education/Schools

“I did really well on my Roman history test. I got a C”

A "C" is a letter grade. "C" is a Roman numeral for 100. "Thank you sweet baby jesus i got a C on my roman history test :D" was posted on Twitter by Amanda Kramer on…

March 10, 2020
Education/Schools

“I didn’t think my son stole from his trig teacher until I saw his room. All the sines were there”

"I never wanted to believe that my dad stole from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there” is a now-classic pun. There are math versions ("all the sines…

February 24, 2018
Education/Schools

“I didn’t understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me”

A math joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on March 18, 2012: "I didn't understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me." Pun of the Day (March 19, 2012)I…

July 19, 2014
Education/Schools

“I didn’t go to school just to eat my lunch”

Schools usually have a lunch break; some students qualify for free school lunches. "I didn't go to school (just) to eat lunch" is a popular saying, meaning that the speaker went to…

May 2, 2014
Education/Schools

“I don’t always have time to study…but when I do, I don’t”

"I don't always have time to study (for exams)...but when I do, I don't" is a joke based on the Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man in the World" advertisement tagline…

April 23, 2020
Education/Schools

“I don’t hate ALL of the periodic table. Just elements of it”

"I'm not familiar with the entire periodic table. Just elements of it" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by Sanjeev Kohli on February 21, 2012. "I don't hate ALL of the…

September 3, 2018
Education/Schools

“I don’t teach subjects. I teach students”

"I don't teach subjects (English, Math, Social Studies, et al.), I teach students" is a popular saying with many teachers. What's most important is the students, and teaching to…

September 19, 2022
Education/Schools

“I don’t like math puns. But I will make one if I half two”

"Half" is sometimes confused with "have." A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on August 20, 2022: "I don’t like math puns. But I will make one if I half two."…

July 1, 2015
Education/Schools

“I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx”

"I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx" is a popular pun on Twitter. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007 and is of unknown authorship.…

May 20, 2020
Education/Schools

“I failed Binary 101. I said it was 6”

Many introductory college courses end in "101." But what if the course is Binary 101? (101 is 5 in binary.) "I failed Binary 101.I said it was 6. http://bit.ly/1a78s7q via…

June 25, 2018
Education/Schools

“I failed my drug test today. There goes my degree in pharmaceutics!”

Drug tests are often given at work, but sometimes a different kind of drug test is given at school. "I failed my drug test again. Sometimes I wonder if I'll EVER get my pharmacy…

July 14, 2018
Education/Schools

“I failed my italic writing exam with straight A’s”

"@brianshelf - I failed my Italics exam with straight As. #fb" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter on August 18, 2011. "Failed my italic writing exam with…

August 1, 2018
Education/Schools

“I failed my math exam. I couldn’t write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 as Roman numerals. IM LIVID”

"Just heard they're changing my mobile phone number to Roman numerals!? I'm LIVID" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Morris Dutchley the Comic Book on September 28, 2011.…

June 14, 2021
Education/Schools

“I fill sorry four all the kids that half to learn from home with parents who can’t reed…”

The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic caused many students to stay at home and be homeschooled. "I fill sorry four all the kids that half to lurn from home with purunts who can’t reed, right…

March 11, 2017
Education/Schools

“I finally got an A on my essay! (Only 1999 more words to go)”

Getting an "A" on an essay is great -- if that stands for a letter grade. "I have an A on my essay. only 6999 more words to go!" was posted on Twitter on November 12, 2015.…

December 3, 2018
Education/Schools

“I got a rejection letter from the origami university today, I’m not sure what to make of it”

A joke about college rejection letters was posted on Twitter by "the name is Les" on November 18, 2018: "I got a rejection letter from the origami university today, I’m not sure…

May 31, 2025
Education/Schools

“I got an A on my origami assignment when I turned my paper into my teacher”

"I got an A on my origami assignment when I turned my paper into my teacher" was posted on X/Twitter by Trey on April 19, 2016. "dailybadjokes: I got an A on my origami assignment…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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