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April 19, 2018
Education/Schools

“How many teachers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (riddle)

There have been several teacher versions of the traditional lightbulb joke. This is from 1990: Q: How many teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: One if at home, but on school time,…

April 20, 2022
Education/Schools

“How to do math: 1. Write down the problem 2. Cry”

"How to do math: 1. Write down the problem 2. Cry" is a saying that has been shown on many images. Twitter💭@convomfsAutomated💭 how to do math:1. write the problem2. cry.12:37 AM ·…

July 21, 2017
Education/Schools

“How to sleep faster: Decorate your bedroom to look like a classroom”

"How to sleep faster: Decorate your bedroom to look like a classroom" -- implying that people fall asleep in class -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I wish that I…

February 18, 2018
Education/Schools

“Hurry up and pass out the test before I forget everything!”

Many students study for a test, but then quickly forget everything. “Let's do the test before I forget everything" was published in a 1997 book. "Let's do this test before I…

December 2, 2020
Education/Schools

“Hyperbole is the worst figure of speech in the multiverse”

People tend to exaggerate when talking about hyperbole. "Hyperbole is the worst thing in the universe" was posted on Twitter by Yeah Clarko on February 23, 2008. "Hyperbole is the…

December 2, 2020
Education/Schools

“Hyperbole is the worst thing ever!”

People tend to exaggerate when talking about hyperbole. "Hyperbole is the worst thing in the universe" was posted on Twitter by Yeah Clarko on February 23, 2008. "Hyperbole is the…

December 2, 2020
Education/Schools

“Hyperbole is the worst thing in the universe”

People tend to exaggerate when talking about hyperbole. "Hyperbole is the worst thing in the universe" was posted on Twitter by Yeah Clarko on February 23, 2008. "Hyperbole is the…

February 5, 2020
Education/Schools

“I accidentally blew up my chemistry lab in high school. Oxidants happen!”

"Oxidants happen" -- a pun on "accidents happen" is a chemistry joke that has been printed on many images. "Oxidants happen" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns…

August 19, 2019
Education/Schools

“I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course. I’m really struggling to get out of it”

"My wife's booked me on an escapology course... But I'm trying to get out of it!!!" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by oliarno on June 18, 2013. "I'm struggling…

March 14, 2020
Education/Schools

“I always give 100%. Which is why I lost my job as an exam marker”

Should one always give 100% (or 110%) at work? "I always give 110%. That's why I lost my job In the examination bored" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Lewis Gardiner on…

May 11, 2021
Education/Schools

“I always tell my kids to stay in school. But they keep coming back”

"Stay in school" means that students shouldn't drop out, but some parents take this literally. "Every morning I tell my kids how important it is for them to stay in school...…

November 19, 2024
Education/SchoolsFood/DrinkMusic/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“I am so proud of my Dyslexic daughter. She has managed to get in the school Brass Band. Playing the Toblerone”

"Trombone" (a musical instrument in the brass family) shouldn't be confused with "Toblerone" (a Swiss chocolate brand), but there are jokes. "I am so proud of my…

May 7, 2023
Education/Schools

“I asked my wife to act like a ‘naughty school girl.’ She forged a note from her mother…”

"My husband asked me to act like a 'naughty school girl' for him so I forged a note from my mother saying I don’t have to participate" is a sex joke that was posted on Twitter…

September 27, 2019
Education/Schools

“I ate the exam paper. Which means that sooner or later I will pass the test”

A joke about "passing" a test was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 26, 2019: "I ate the exam paper. Which means that sooner or later I will pass the test." Reddit --…

September 4, 2019
Education/Schools

“I became math teacher to teach subtraction. I just want to make a difference”

Do math teachers who teach subtraction "make a difference"? "When I was a kid I wanted to make a difference. But my math teacher said I sucked at subtraction" was posted on…

August 14, 2018
Education/Schools

“I before E except after C has been disproved by science”

"'I before E except after C' has been disproved by science" is a joke about spelling that has been printed on an ecard. Along with the word "science," there are many…

October 12, 2022
Education/Schools

“I better get a good grade on my son’s science fair project”

Many parents do most of the work on a child's science fair project. "I hope I get an A on my daughter's science fair project" was posted on Twitter by Andie Johnson on January…

July 18, 2020
Education/Schools

“I bought a book called ‘Mathematics for dummies.’ All the answers were wrong”

For Dummies is a series of instructional/reference books. A joke was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic on June 17, 2012: "I bought a book called 'Mathematics for dummies'. All the…

February 20, 2013
Education/Schools

“I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you”

"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you" is a saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts, buttons and posters. The saying is especially…

January 28, 2024
Education/SchoolsGovernment/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I can write in cursive so I’m basically a Founding Father at this point”

The Founding Fathers of the United States wrote documents in cursive, but most people seldom write in cursive today. Cursive is sometimes called "founding father handwriting."…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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