“Come on up and I’ll show you my etchings” (sexual trope)
"Come on up and I'll show you my etchings" is an old veiled language joke that has been printed on many images. The speaker (usually a man) wants to lure a person (usually a woman)…
“ConEd, y’all must be adding the street lights to my bill”
"I feel like they are adding street lights to my electric bill" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the electric bill is expensive. Various energy companies have…
“CONTAGIOUS in a sentence: it will take the CONTAGIOUS to finish painting her house with a brush”
The word "contagious" can sound like "c-nt ages." A joke has a teacher asking a student for a sentence using the word "contagious." One student says that a father…
“Could anyone give me a fern? (Asking for a frond)”
"asking for a friend" shouldn't be confused with "asking for a frond," but there are many jokes. "Palm oil is really bad for you, right? I'm asking for a…
“Cracked windows are a pane in the glass”
"Fixing broken windows is a pane in the glass" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "Pane in the glass" is a pun on "pain in the ass." There…
“Currently stuck at an auction bidding for a house with a lengthy corridor. In it for the long hall”
"@simontkey I’ve joined the army so I can afford the 100 metre corridor I want in my house. I’m in it for the long hall" was posted on Twitter on August 20, 2010. "In it for the…
“Damn girl, are you a fire alarm? Because you’re really loud and annoying”
"Damn girl, are you a fire alarm? Because you're really loud and annoying" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Damn girl are you a fire alarm cause your loud as…
“Damn girl, are you a smoke detector?” (joke)
Many people are annoyed by smoke detectors that go off when people are cooking, or that never stop beeping when the battery is low. A joke is: "Dammmn girl, are you a smoke detector? Cause…
“Danger. Do not touch. Not only will this kill you, it will hurt the whole time you’re dying” (sign)
"Danger. Do not touch. Not only will this kill you, it will hurt the whole time you're dying" is a sign that has been printed on many images. "Via @popurls: Not only will this…
“Day 6 of quarantine. Preparing to take out the garbage. So excited can’t decide what to wear”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be quarantined in their homes. People would, however, leave the home briefly to take out the garbage. "'I got so excited about…
“Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, ‘See? This is why I chew the furniture’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in home quarantines. People became more understanding of dogs. "End of Day 2 on lockdown and the dog is looking at me like 'SEE? This is why I…
“Dear Santa, beware of dog kisses” (sign)
"Beware of dog" is a popular sign. "Beware of dog kisses" is a sign that has been printed on many images. The sign became popular in 2011 and 2012. "Beware of Dog Kisses by…
“Deep down…I just want to touch an electric fence and see if it really works”
"Deep down...I just want to touch an electric fence and see if it really works" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "I'm that kinda twat who…
“Deep down…I wanna touch an electric fence and see if it really works”
"Deep down...I just want to touch an electric fence and see if it really works" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "I'm that kinda twat who…
“Despite a valiant effort by my dog from our window, our neighbor has entered his own home”
Dogs can protect property, but they frequently bark unnecessarily at neighbors. A joke was posted on ,a href="https://twitter.com/Darlainky/status/1176568789481267201">Twitter by…
“Did you bring bread for the pigeons (in the park)?”/“No, I eat them without the bread.”
Many people feed bread to the birds in a park. A joke has two homeless people talking on a park bench: HOMELESS PERSON ON PARK BENCH: Did you bring bread for the pigeons?SECOND HOMELESS PERSON: No,…
“Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? It was a lawn distance relationship”
"Lawn distance relationship" is a pun on the term "long distance relationship." "People always said I should have dated the girl next door. I'm glad I didn't, I…
“Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally”
"Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The joke was first cited on Thought Catalog and then…
“Dig a five-dollar hole for a fifty-cent plant” (gardening adage)
A gardening adage is that it's better to dig a five-dollar hole for a fifty-cent plant than to big a fifty-cent hole for a five-dollar plant. A good plant won't grow well in bad soil, but…
“Disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid”
"Disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on GIFs. James Martin posted thje one-liner on Twitter on…