“Dear Santa, beware of dog kisses” (sign)
"Beware of dog" is a popular sign. "Beware of dog kisses" is a sign that has been printed on many images. The sign became popular in 2011 and 2012. "Beware of Dog Kisses by…
“Deep down…I just want to touch an electric fence and see if it really works”
"Deep down...I just want to touch an electric fence and see if it really works" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "I'm that kinda twat who…
“Deep down…I wanna touch an electric fence and see if it really works”
"Deep down...I just want to touch an electric fence and see if it really works" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "I'm that kinda twat who…
“Despite a valiant effort by my dog from our window, our neighbor has entered his own home”
Dogs can protect property, but they frequently bark unnecessarily at neighbors. A joke was posted on ,a href="https://twitter.com/Darlainky/status/1176568789481267201">Twitter by…
“Did you bring bread for the pigeons (in the park)?”/“No, I eat them without the bread.”
Many people feed bread to the birds in a park. A joke has two homeless people talking on a park bench: HOMELESS PERSON ON PARK BENCH: Did you bring bread for the pigeons?SECOND HOMELESS PERSON: No,…
“Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? It was a lawn distance relationship”
"Lawn distance relationship" is a pun on the term "long distance relationship." "People always said I should have dated the girl next door. I'm glad I didn't, I…
“Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally”
"Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The joke was first cited on Thought Catalog and then…
“Did you know that if you garden naked, your neighbors will build a privacy fence at no cost to you?”
"Did you know that if you garden naked, your neighbors will build a privacy fence at no cost to you?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Facebook Robert Lee-Coder…
“Dig a five-dollar hole for a fifty-cent plant” (gardening adage)
A gardening adage is that it's better to dig a five-dollar hole for a fifty-cent plant than to big a fifty-cent hole for a five-dollar plant. A good plant won't grow well in bad soil, but…
“Disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid”
"Disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on GIFs. James Martin posted thje one-liner on Twitter on…
“Do you know where Central Park is?...OK, I’ll mug you here”
New York City in the 1960s and 1970s was crime-ridden; there were constant stories about tourists being mugged in and around Central Park. A joke from 1971 has a shady person approaching a tourist…
“Do you want to hear a construction joke?”/“I’m working on it.”
The construction industry has a joke that's told about it: "Do you want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, It'm still working on it." The joke has been cited in print since at…
“Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”/“And you will dialogue.”
"Dialogue" sounds like "die a log," and there's a lumberjack pun. "'But, I’m a talking tree!' said the oak. 'And, you will dialogue,' replied the…
“Don’t guess—soil test” (lawn and garden adage)
"Don't guess -- soil test" is a slogan that has been used in farming, and also for home lawns and gardens. Soil should be tested to see what fertilizer is required. "Don't…
“Don’t open a ‘Ding, Dong’ email! It’s a Jehovah’s Witness working from home”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused people to quarantine in their homes. Jehovah's Witnesses who normally knocked on doors (or rang the doorbells) no longer did that. "If you get a…
“Don’t open a ‘Knock, Knock’ email! It’s a Jehovah’s Witness working from home”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused people to quarantine in their homes. Jehovah's Witnesses who normally knocked on doors (or rang the doorbells) no longer did that. "If you get a…
“Don’t prune in May or June” (gardening adage)
A popular gardening adage rhymes "prune" and "June." “Don't Prune in May or June" was cited in print in 1980. "If it flowers before June, don't prune"…
“Don’t wait to buy real estate. Buy real estate and wait”
"Don’t wait to buy real estate. Buy real estate and wait" is a popular real estate saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that real estate is a very good…
“Don’t want the neighbors thinking I’m rich… so I turned a few lights off”
"Don’t want the neighbours thinking I’m rich.. so I turned a few lights off.. #tuesdaytitters" was posted on Twitter by Paul Kelly on October 18, 2022. Electric bills shot up in price…
“Dr. Watson, there are a lot of break ins lately.”/“Sure. Lock homes.”
Sherlock Holmes (a fictional detective) sounds like "sure, lock homes." There was a Felix the Cat cartoon titled Sure-Locked Homes (1928). There was a "Sure-Lock-Homes"…