"Two men walk into a bar. You’d think the second one would have seen it" is a classic bar joke. A similar joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on October 8, 1997: "Two…
A popular math joke is: Q: Two cats are sitting on a sloping roof. Which one falls off first?A: The one with the smallest mu. The Greek letter mu stands for the coefficient of friction. The cat…
There is a popular saying about ivy: "The first year it sleeps, the second year it creeps and the third year it leaps." The saying has been cited in print since at least 1960, when it was…
Walking down stairs has been compared to falling. "How come walking down stairs is just falling with extra steps?" was posted on Twitter by Phil_Swift on August 4, 2020. This was posted…
An Irish blessing popular on St. Patrick’s Day was printed in the Edmonton (Alberta) Journal on March 17, 1965: "Walls for the windAnd a roof for the rainAnd tea beside the fire --Laughter…
"Warning: My alarm tells me you're in my house. My gun tells me not for long" is a sign that has been printed on many images. "MY ALARM TELLS ME YOU ARE IN MY HOUSE……MY GUN…
"Fixing broken windows is a pane in the glass" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "Pane in the glass" is a pun on "pain in the ass." There…
Something that is “like watching (the) grass grow” is something that is very boring. "Slow motion pictures are to be used in the teaching of golf and if they even film Chet Smith teeing…
Something that is "like watching paint dry" is something that is very boring. "Waiting for them to score one (the Dodgers to score a run -- ed.) is like watching paint dry" was…
Many people don't like visitors at their home. "I don't have a welcome mat at my door/ouse because I'm not a liar" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There…
Many people don't like visitors at their home. "I don't have a welcome mat at my door/ouse because I'm not a liar" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There…
British Prime Minister Winston Churchill (1874-1965) said in October 1943 about plans to rebuild the bomb-shattered House of Parliament: "We shape our buildings and afterwards our buildings…
"Welcome to our ‘ool’. Notice there’s no ‘P’ in it. Let’s keep it that way" is a jocular saying (against "pee" in the pool) that has been printed on many images. The…
"I paid the rent... Now I've got a place to starve to death" (or "Paid my rent, now I have a place to starve") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
When someone goes to the bathroom to "take a dump," there is no actual "taking" -- except in jokes. "Went to the bathroom earlier and took a poo....not sure whose it was,…
Yankee catcher Yogi Berra (1925-2015) moved into a large house in New Jersey in 1961, and he was asked to describe the place. Berra said: "What a place it is. Nothing but rooms." The…
A pun about a house is: Q: What clothes does a house wear?A: Address (a dress). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. "Does a house wear a coat of paint 'cause it's…
An elevator riddle is: Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?A: "I think I'm coming down with something!" The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1972, when it…
A riddle about walls is: Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?A: "Meet me at the corner." The joke was printed in the Brooklyn (NY) Eagle on August 17, 1940. 17 August 1940,…
A chimney riddle is: Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?A: "You're too young to smoke." The (cigarette) smoking joke has been cited in print since at least 1941.…