“Welcome to our ‘ool’. Notice there’s no ‘P’ in it. Let’s keep it that way”
"Welcome to our ‘ool’. Notice there’s no ‘P’ in it. Let’s keep it that way" is a jocular saying (against "pee" in the pool) that has been printed on many images. The…
“Welp, paid rent. Now I got a place to starve to death”
"I paid the rent... Now I've got a place to starve to death" (or "Paid my rent, now I have a place to starve") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Went to the bathroom earlier and took a poo. Not sure whose it was, but it’s mine now”
When someone goes to the bathroom to "take a dump," there is no actual "taking" -- except in jokes. "Went to the bathroom earlier and took a poo....not sure whose it was,…
“What a house! Nothing but rooms!”
Yankee catcher Yogi Berra (1925-2015) moved into a large house in New Jersey in 1961, and he was asked to describe the place. Berra said: "What a place it is. Nothing but rooms." The…
“What clothes does a house wear?”/“Address.”
A pun about a house is: Q: What clothes does a house wear?A: Address (a dress). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. "Does a house wear a coat of paint 'cause it's…
“What did one elevator say to the other?”/“I think I’m coming down with something!”
An elevator riddle is: Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?A: "I think I'm coming down with something!" The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1972, when it…
“What did one wall say to the other wall?”/“Meet me at the corner.”
A riddle about walls is: Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?A: "Meet me at the corner." The joke was printed in the Brooklyn (NY) Eagle on August 17, 1940. 17 August 1940,…
“What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?”/“You’re too young to smoke.”
A chimney riddle is: Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?A: "You're too young to smoke." The (cigarette) smoking joke has been cited in print since at least 1941.…
“What did the curtain say to the floor?”/“Stop looking under my skirt!”
A riddle about curtains is: Q: What did the curtain say to the floor?A: "Stop looking under my skirt!" "@MiaTyler this is my 6yr. old's joke: what did the curtain say to the…
“What did the curtain say to the window?”/“I’ve got you covered.”
A riddle about curtains is: Q: What did the curtain say to the window?A: "I've got you covered." "Rob: What did the curtain say to the window? Roy: Don't move, I've…
“What did the hot dog vendor say at the World Trade Center?” (joke)
The September 11, 2001 attacks that destroyed New York City's World Trade Center quickly became the subject of jokes. This joke was cited on September 25, 2001: Q: What did the hot dog seller…
“What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?”/“Supplies!”
A popular children's riddle (printed on several images) is: Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out the closet?A: Supplies! The joke originally had an Asian janitor, giving more sense…
“What did the monkey say after he got his tail in a lawn mower?”/“It won’t be long now.”
The are several puns about a monkey and its tail. "'That ends my tale,' said the monkey as he backed into the lawnmower" was printed in the Binghamton (NY) Press and Leader on…
“What did the monkey say after he got his tail in a revolving door?”/“It won’t be long now.”
A revolving door riddle is: Q: What did the monkey say after he got his tail caught in a revolving door?A: "It won't be long now." "What did the monkey say when he caught his…
“What did the painter say to the wall?”/“One more crack and I’ll plaster you!”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twitterjischinger @jischingersukatra - What did the painter say to the wall?7:40 PM - 30 Sep 2008 TwitterKelly @kellytruthsRT @Jack_In_ChicagoWhat did the painter…
“What did the real estate agent say to the other agent?”/”‘House’ it going?”
"House" sounds like "how's." A realtor (real estate agent) riddle is: Q: What did the real estate agent say to the other agent?A: "House it going?" "RT…
“What did the sandwich say to the doorman?”/“Please lettuce in.”
A sandwich riddle was posted on Reddit -- Badjokes on September 12, 2017: Q: What did the sandwich say to the doorman?A: "Please lettuce in." "Lettuce" sounds like "let…
“What do astronauts use to stay warm?”/“A space heater.”
A "space heater" doesn't involve astronauts and outer space, but there are jokes. "Hey, what do astronauts use when they get cold? A space heater! (Sorry sorry. Sorry.)"…
“What do I know about bonsai trees? Very little”
Bonsai trees are small. A joke is was posted on Twitter by Dave Roberts on October 21, 2013:: "What do I know about bonsai trees? Very little." Wikipedia: BonsaiBonsai (Japanese: 盆栽,…
“What do you call 2 witches sharing an apartment?”/“Broomates.”
A popular Halloween riddle is: Q: What do you call two witches who live together?A: Broom mates! "Broommate" and "broomate" (broom + roommate) have both been used as the…