“This house isn’t dusty. It’s sprinkled with fairy dust”
"This house isn't dusty. It's sprinkled with fairy dust" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several signs. "This house isn't dusty it's sprinkled with…
“This house runs on coffee, wine and Amazon Prime”
"This house runs on coffee, wine and Amazon Prime" (also "This mom runs on coffee, wine and Amazon Prime," "I run on coffee, wine and Amazon Prime" and "Coffee,…
“This is a bathroom, not an internet cafe. Poo & shoo”
"This is a bathroom, not an internet cafe. Shit & split" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "This is a bathroom not an Internet cafe. Shit &…
“This is a bathroom, not an internet cafe. Shit & split”
"This is a bathroom, not an internet cafe. Shit & split" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "This is a bathroom not an Internet cafe. Shit &…
“This is my house.”/“What’s upstairs?”/“Stairs don’t talk.”
"What's upstairs?" shouldn't be confused with "What's up, stairs?" A house joke was posted on Twitter by fishy🐠 on September 9, 2018: Me: and this is my house…
“This lockdown is no walk in the park”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in the closures of many parks. "A walk in the park" usually means something easy. "I’ll say this about #lockdown - it’s no walk in the…
“Threw my neighbors a really nice housewarming party. The cops are calling it arson, however”
A "housewarming party" usually doesn't involve "warming the house," but there are jokes. "Positive spin #13: 'Arson, m'lord? Not at all. We just…
“Tidy house, tidy mind”
"Tidy house. tidy mind” is a popular saying, though not always an accurate one. "A tidy house is the symbol of a tidy mind" was cited in print in 1986. A similar saying is “If a…
“Tidy room, tidy mind”
"Tidy (bed)room. tidy mind” is a popular saying, though not always an accurate one. "A tidy room is the key to a tidy mind" was cited in print in 1982. A similar saying is “If a…
“To avoid taking down my Christmas decorations, I’m converting my house into a Chinese restaurant”
Many Chinese restaurants put up Christmas decorations and never seem to take them down. "To avoid taking down my Christmas decorations..I'm converting my house into a Chinese…
“To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m making my house into an Italian restaurant”
Do Italian restaurants have too many lights? Patrick McLellan posted a Christmas joke on Twitter on January 7, 2013: "To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an…
“To be honest, I’ve wanted to spray a lot of people with Lysol before this all started”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic increased use of Lysol (a brand name of cleaning and disinfecting products). "To be honest.. I’ve wanted to spray a lot of people with Lysol before this…
“To get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays… Put it in an Amazon box and leave it on the porch”
"Need to get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays? Put it in Amazon boxes and leave it on your front porch" is a jocular saying that has been printed on may images. That is, people…
“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow”
"To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "'When you plant a garden, you have to believe in tomorrow,'…
“Today I learned that ‘Wet Floor’ signs are not a request”
Many buildings have "Wet Floor" signs, indicating that people should walk there only with great caution. The sign usually means that the floor has just been cleaned. A joke is:…
“Tonight, by moonlight, I will rake my leaves into my neighbor’s yard”
"I can’t believe it’s already that time of year again when I have to rake the leaves into my neighbor’s yard" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Too poor to paint and too proud to whitewash”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: WhitewashWhitewash, or calcimine, kalsomine, calsomine, or lime paint is a low-cost type of paint made from slaked lime (calcium hydroxide) and chalk (whiting).…
“Trees are just broccoli for giants”
Broccoli looks like little trees. "Trees are broccoli for giants" was posted on X/Twitter by Brandon Floyd on January 16, 2011. "What if trees are just broccoli for giants" was…
“True house cleaners aren’t just born, they’re maid”
"Maid" shouldn't be confused with "made," but there are jokes. "Housekeepers aren't born they're maid" was posted on Twitter by Dang Laser on January 7,…
“Turn a regular sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday”
"Turn a regular sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "TURN a regular sofa into a sofa bed by…