“How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree?”/“By the bark.”
Dogs bark. Trees have bark. An old joke is told about the flowering dogwood tree. "Dog-wood, says the New York Star, may readily be distinguished by its peculiar bark" was printed in the…
“How come bills never go on sale? Like rent 25% off or pay 2 electricity bills and get the next one free”
"Why bills never go on sale? Like rent 50% off or buy 1 light bill and get the gas bill free" and "How come bills never go on sale? Like rent 25% off or pay 2 electricity bills and…
“How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?”/“He prawned everything.”
"Prawn" sounds to some like "pawn." A riddle is: Q: How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?A: He prawned everything. The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“How did the Eskimo build his house?”/“Igloo-d it together.”
"Igloo" can sound like the words "he glue." A joke was printed in the book The Father Christmas: It's a Blooming Terrible Joke Book (1994): "Have you heard about the…
“How do construction workers party?”/“They raise the roof.”
To "raise the roof" means to show great enthusiasm, but it's taken literally in the pun: Q: How do construction workers party?A: They raise the roof. The joke was posed on the…
“How do mountains hear?”/“With mountaineers.”
A mountain riddle is: Q: How do mountains hear?A: With mountaineers (mountain ears). The joke was published in Biggest Riddle Book in the World (1976) by Joseph Rosenbloom. “How do mountains…
“How do mountains see?”/“They peak.”
A mountain riddle is: Q: How do mountains see?A: They peak (peek). The joke was posted on the website PunoftheDay.com on July 1, 2015. “How do mountains hear?"/"With mountaineers"…
“How do mountains stay warm?”/“Snowcaps.”
A mountain riddle is: Q: How do mountains stay warm?A: Snowcaps. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2015. “How do mountains hear?"/"With mountaineers" and “How do…
“How do you break into a house?”/“Intruder window.”
"Intruder window" is an old joke for "in troo der window" or "in through the window." The joke ("he climbed intruder window") might have originated in the…
“How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?”/“You column.”
Greek architecture is known for its Doric, Ionic, and Corinthian columns. "Column" sounds like "call him" or "call 'em." A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes…
“How do you get rid of a fat ghost in a house?”/“You exercise it.”
There are many "exercise" and "exorcise" puns. "We had a fat ghost haunting our house so I got our local gym instructor to exercise him" was posted on Twitter by Matt…
“How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?”/“Put him in your back yard.”
A dog riddle is: Q: How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard? A: Put him in your back yard. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1991. “How do you stop a dog from barking…
“How do you know when Santa is in the room?”/“You can sense his presents.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: How do you know when Santa is in the room?A: You can sense his presents (presence). The joke has been cited in print since at least 2010. Twitter Seth Caddell…
“How do you make a Venetian blind?”/“Poke him in the eye.”
The term "Venetian blind" (a type of window blind) is used in a classic riddle: Q: How do you make a Venetian blind?A: Poke him in the eye. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“How do you stop a dog from barking in the back yard?”/“Put it in the front yard.”
A dog riddle is: Q: Who do you stop a dog from barking in the back yard?A: Put it in the front yard. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1983. “How do you keep a dog from barking in…
“How do you tell a male door from a female door?”/“One’s got a ding-dong, the other has knockers.”
A door riddle (containing sex slang) is: Q: How do you tell a male door from a female door? A: One's got a ding-dong, the other has knockers. The joke was posted on Twitter by Aman on…
“How do you unlock a haunted house?”/“With a skeleton key.”
A skeleton key is a master key that opens many doors. "Now I know how ghosts get into haunted houses. They use skeleton keys!" was printed in the Washington (DC) Post on November 28,…
“How does a kaiju find a home?”/“Through Godzillow.”
Godzilla is a famous fictional monster in Japanese films who often destroys houses. Zillow is an American online real estate marketplace company. There is no "Godzillow," but there are…
“How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?”/“Tenants.”
"Tenants" is a word that sets up the obvious joke: Q: How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?A: Ten ants (tenants). "How many ants make a landlord? 10 ants (tenants)" was…
“How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?” (riddle)
A popular "lightbulb joke" about divorced men is: Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb? A: Who cares? They never get the house anyway. This version was posted on…