“I’m at the place in my life where errands count as ‘going out’”
"I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is an adult who no longer goes out…
New York of India (Mumbai nickname)
“I’m at the place in my life where running errands counts as ‘going out’”
"I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is an adult who no longer goes out…
“I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen”
Bananas go bad very quickly. "I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several…
“I’m being blamed for the missing grated cheese, but they haven’t found one shred of evidence”
The expression "not one shred of evidence" means "nothing at all." It usually doesn't refer to shredded cheese, but there are jokes. "I’m being blamed for the…
“I’m broke but not like the poor broke, I’m classy type of broke. I’m broqué”
"I'm not regular broke, I'm high class broke. I'm broqué" and "I’m broke but not like the poor broke, I’m (a/the) classy type of broke. I’m broqué" are…
“I’m celebrating President’s Day by making a bunch of promises I have no plan on keeping”
A joke about Presidents' Day is a reminder that presidents make campaign promises that they seldom keep. "Happy Presidents Day... Celebrate Presidents Day by making a promise you have no…
“I’m convinced that leaning forward while playing video games substantially improves performance”
Does leaning forward help make a better video game player? "I am 100% convinced that leaning forward while playing video games substantially improves overall performance. /via @nessie111-works…
“I’m deeply disturbed by how many people seem to see washing their hands as a new thing”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused many news outlets to instruct people to wash their hands. A comment was posted on Twitter by Liz Buckley on March 2, 2020: "I’m deeply disturbed by…
“I’m done being a people pleaser, if everyone’s OK with that”
A "people-pleaser" joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 17, 2020: "I’m done being a people pleaser. If everyone’s ok with that." "I’m done being a people…
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red”
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" is a famous line in Irving Berlin's classic Christmas song, "White Christmas" (1942). A "white Christmas" joke that has…
“I’m driving a stick shift. We’re on a hill. Do you really want to be close enough to read this?” (bumper sticker)
"I’m driving a stick shift. We’re on a hill. Do you really want to be close enough to read this?” (bumper sticker) is a jocula saying that has been printed on many images. "ok funny…
“I’m from New York, where people say ‘you’re welcome’ to remind you to say ‘thank you’”
"I’m from New York, where people say 'you’re welcome' to remind you to say 'thank you'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Some of the images…
“I’m getting way too comfortable looking this ugly all the time”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in the closing of barbershops and hair salons. People stayed in their homes and did not look their best. "I’ve gotten too comfortable looking ugly…
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt for my food. I don’t even know where sandwiches live”
"I’m glad I don’t have to hunt for my food. I don’t even know where sandwiches live" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm glad I don't have to hunt…
“I’m glad I learned about the Pythagorean theorem instead of taxes in school. It’s really come in handy this Pythagorean theorem season”
"I’m glad I learned about the Pythagorean theorem instead of taxes in school. It’s really come in handy this Pythagorean theorem season" is a joke that has been printed on many…
“I’m going through a lot right now. I can’t seem to find a parking spot”
To be "going through a lot" usually means that one has many troubles, but not always. "I’m going through a lot right now. I can't seem to find a parking spot" was posted…
“I’m going to need some privacy while I parallel park”
Many people find that parallel parking is difficult. "I hate when people are outside when I'm trying to parallel park. I need some privacy!" is a saying that has been printed on…
“I’m happy to announce that I’ve just about had it”
"I'm excited to announce that I've just about had it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is fed up with circumstances (such as at a job) and…
“I’m here experiencing life at a rate of several WTFs per hour”
"I am currently experiencing life at a rate of several WTFS per hour" (WTF = What The Fuck) is a saying that has been printed on many images. There are several minor variations. "is…
“I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called linkedout”
LinkedIn is an American business and employment-oriented social networking service website. THere is no LinkedOut for unemployed or retired people, but there are jokes. "In these rough…