“9/11 jokes aren’t funny. They’re just plane wrong”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular joke is: "9/11 jokes aren't…
1960s: Fun City
“9/11 was an inside job”
"9/11 was an inside job" is a slogan of 9/11 "truthers" who believe that the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center were a false flag operation organized by the…
“90% of the regrets in my life involve alcohol and the ‘send’ button”
"90% of the regrets in my life involve alcohol and the 'send' button" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images. The saying refers to drunk…
“95% of electric vehicles are still on the road. The remaining 5% made it all the way home”
"95% of electric vehicles are still on the road. The remaining 5% made it all the way home" is a joke that has been printed on several images. The speaker believes that electric cars…
“99 little bugs in the code” (programming joke)
The song "99 Bottles of Beer" goes: 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer.Take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall... A computer version that has been…
“99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people”
"99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people" is a joke that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 19, 2014. The speaker is not intelligent --…
“99% of my personality is just coffee and I’m OK with that”
"As it turns out, 93% of my personality was (just) coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. “@Gregospeck: I have discovered that 92% of my personality is…
“A ‘conspiracy theorist’ is someone who figures out the truth before most people”
An image has been cited in print since at least May 28, 2022: DAUGHTER: "Mom, what's a conspiracy theorist?"MOTHER: "Somebody who figures out the truth before most people,…
“A $300 bat won’t fix your 50 cent swing” (baseball adage)
Baseball bats can be expensive, but an expensive bat doesn't automatically turn a player into a good hitter. "A $300 bat won't fix your 50 cent swing" is a baseball adage of…
“A 20 Hz sine wave walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A physics version is: "A time-stretched sinusoid walks into a bar. The bartender asks,…
“A 350 credit score prevents identity theft”
"A 350 credit score prevents identity theft" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A 350 credit score is very poor, and something no one would want to steal.…
“A baby can drink a bottle, fall asleep and people say it’s cute. If I do it. I’m an alcoholic”
"A baby drinks a bottle and falls asleep and it's totally fine. I drink a bottle and fall asleep and I'm an alcoholic. Totally unfair" is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“A baby seal walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular seal joke is: "A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender says,…
“A backward poet writes inverse”
"A backward(s) poet writes inverse" is a pun that has been printed on many T-shirts and GIFs. Authorship of the joke is unknown, but the one-liner has been cited in print since at least…
“A backyard barbecue draws two things ... flies and relatives”
"A backyard barbecue draws two things...flies and relatives" was popularized by a list of "Truisms" that has been on the Internet since 2003. The saying has been put on…
“A bacon a day keeps the vegans away”
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away" is a famous saying. Several sayings expressing what keeps vegans away have been printed on several images. "A rib a day keeps the vegans…
“A bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work”
"A bad day (of) fishing is better than a good day of work" has been put on gift items (such as bumper stickers, T-shirts and signs) since at least 1986. "A bad day fishing is better…
“A bad day with coffee is better than a good day without it”
"A bad day with coffee is better than a good day without it" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "A bad day with coffee is better than a good day with a…
“A bad football team is like an old bra—no cups and very little support”
A popular quotation about soccer (football) is: "A bad football team is like an old bra -- no cups and very little support." The sports saying has been cited in print since at least 1998…
“A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer, for even longer”
A popular lawyer joke is: "What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A bad lawyer can let a case drag on for years; a good lawyer can make it last even longer."…