“‘Are you okay?’ No bro it’s literally Monday every 5 minutes”
Many people hate Monday, the traditional start of the work week. "I don't really understand this year...🤷🏽♂️ Every five minutes it's Monday! 🥱😏😮💨"…
1960s: Fun City
“‘Are your arms tired from holding five pieces of paper? You need a podium!’ (podium salesman)”
Several jokes state that a podium is a product that a salesman can stand behind. However, you stand on a podium, and you stand behind a lectern. "It must really suck to be a podium salesman.…
“‘Be careful. That ice is slippery’—Everyone after you slip on ice”
People seem to warn about icy conditions after a person already slips. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by National Park Service on January 18, 2024: "'Be careful. That ice is…
“‘Be strong,’ I whispered to my wifi signal”
"Be strong!" is something that might be said to a loved one, especially after a death in the family. "'Be strong,' I whispered to my wifi signal" is a jocular saying…
“‘Break a leg’ dates back to Shakespeare, because you can’t make a Hamlet without breaking legs”
"You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs" is an old proverb. "You can't make a Hamlet without breaking a few eggs/egos/legs" is a theater joke. "You…
“‘Buffet’ is a French word that means ‘get up and get it yourself’”
"'Buffet' is a French word that means 'get up and get it yourself'" is a humorous one-line saying that has been credited to comedian Greg Ray (also known as "Dr.…
“‘Charcuterie’ is a French phrase meaning ‘I bought too much at the deli’”
Does a charcuterie board exist simply because people don't have any bread to make a sandwich? What is "charcuterie" (cold cuts) French for, anyway? "Charcuterie is French for…
“‘Check engine’ is the only light in my life”
The "light of one's life" is often a person (such as a family member) or a religious figure (such as Jesus). A joke is that the only "light of one's life" that's…
“‘Climate change’ happens 4 times each year. My favorite is the ‘global warming’ in late April”
"Climate change" is a term that can be misunderstood. Many people argue that the existence of four seasons shows "climate change." "climate change happens four times a…
“‘Cut through the grass. Sidewalks are for losers.’ —Pythagoras”
Many people learn about the Pythagorean Theorem in school, and then point out that they never use it in their lives. Some people think about the Pythagorean theorem every time they take a shortcut…
“‘Daddy, I want mommy’ is a kid’s version of ‘I wanna speak to your manager”
An adult in a store often wants to speak to the manager. For many children, the "manager" they want to speak to is mommy, not daddy. "'I want Mommy' is the Young Sir’s…
“‘Dark matter’ which holds reality together finally identified as coffee”
"I have discovered the dark matter that holds life together... it's called coffee" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A picture of German-born theoretical physicist…
“‘Did u eat?’ has to be one of the most romantic questions ever”
"'Did you eat?' has to be one of the most romantic questions ever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I Just Want Somebody That Ask Me Romantic Stuff Like…
“‘Did you eat?’ has to be one of the most romantic questions ever”
"'Did you eat?' has to be one of the most romantic questions ever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I Just Want Somebody That Ask Me Romantic Stuff Like…
“‘Dim sun to fight effects of climate change,’ say scientists. I don’t see how eating Chinese Tapas is going to make a difference”
"Dim sun" (one suggestion to stop global warming) shouldn't be confused with ""dim sum" (a Chinese dish), but there are jokes. "Chinese eclipse = dim sun"…
“‘Do as many squats as you feel like, I don’t want to get involved.’—impersonal trainer”
Many people who go to the gym to work out have a personal trainer. Are there impersonal trainers? "I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone and…
“‘Does this uniform make me look fat?’—the insecurity guard”
"'Does this uniform make me look fat?' -- the insecurity guard" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on GIFs. "'Does this uniform make my ass look fat?' -…
“‘Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!’ Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to clarify it”
"Don't bite the hand that feeds you!" is an idiomatic saying meaning that one shouldn't do harm to someone that one is dependent on. The saying usually is not about literal…
“‘Dormitory’ is an anagram for ‘dirty room’”
"Dormitory" is an anagram for "dirty room." The "dormitory" anagram has been noted since at least 1973, when it was included in the book Palindromes and Anagrams by…
“‘Dress for the job that you want’ is bad advice for aspiring police officers”
“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is an employment adage. However, if one wants to become a police officer, then impersonating a police officer is a criminal offense.…