Some people rarely eat healthy food. Whenever they do eat healthy food, they jocularly demand immediate results. "Everytime I eat a salad I'm like, my life better change after this"…
A "wonton" dumpling sounds like "one ton," and there's a pun: "Every time I eat Chinese I feel like I weigh won ton." The jocular one-line saying was posted on…
Cooking shows on television often suggest simple meals with ingredients that everyone supposedly has in the pantry, but many people just have snacks in the pantry. This was posted on Facebook by…
"Whenever I say the word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate" (or "Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate"…
"Whenever I go running, I meet new people...like paramedics" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "EVERY TIME I JOG, I MEET NEW PEOPLE. OF COURSE, THEY'RE…
"Me & my paycheck trying to figure out when the government worked half of my shift" -- that is, the government took taxes from the paycheck -- is a saying that has been printed on…
A quotation about dogs was posted on the newsgroup rec.pets.dogs.behavior on December 12, 2006: "'It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And…
"Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 19,…
"Whenever I go running, I meet new people...like paramedics" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "EVERY TIME I JOG, I MEET NEW PEOPLE. OF COURSE, THEY'RE…
"I swear every time I turn around, I'm paying a bill. I'm just going to stop turning around" is a saying that has been printeda on several images. “@_Fatalatraction: seem like…
"I swear every time I turn around, I'm paying a bill. I'm just going to stop turning around" is a saying that has been printeda on several images. “@_Fatalatraction: seem like…
Many people use self-checkout because it's faster -- only to be behind a slow person. The following observation was posted on Twitter by jordan on April 15, 2021: "Every time I use…
Pilates (a type of mind-body exercise) shouldn't be confused with Roman governor Pontius Pilate, but there are jokes. "Pilates must be pretty tough exercise if they killed Jesus" was…
Pastrami on rye, with mustard, is a classic New York Jewish deli dish. A popular joke has a non-Jew entering a deli and ordering a pastrami sandwich -- on white bread, with mayonnaise. "He…
"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings" is a famous line at the end of the film It's a Wondeful Life (1946). "Every time a/the Taco Bell rings, an angel gets…
"An accountant complains that every time the government shifts to the left, the decimal points in the national debt move to the right," is cited in print since at least 1950. The saying…
"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings" is a famous line at the end of the film It's a Wondeful Life (1946). "Every time a/the Taco Bell rings, an angel gets…
"Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday and ruins it for us" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
"Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday and ruins it for us" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
"Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "Every time you're able to find…