“I’m planning on having my favorite drink this weekend. It’s called a lot”
"Tonight I'm going to have my favorite drink. It's called 'a lot'" (or "Tonight, I'll be having my favorite drink. It's called a lot") is a…
Texas (Lone Star State Dictionary)
“I’m planning to start a jewelry business. If you want to help, give me a ring”
"Give me a ring" usually means a telephone ring and not a diamond ring, but there are jokes. "Planning to start a jewellery business. If you want to help, give me a ring" was…
“I’m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they’re making ceramic bowls”
Many people believe it's an honor to be asked to pose nude for an art class, reflecting that other people admire the poser's body. A joke about this reveals in the second sentence that…
“I’m pretty certain if I had any self-control today, I’d probably eat that, too”
Some people eat and have no self-control. "'@Oobrey: If I had any self control I'd probably eat that too.' #LOL" was posted on Twitter by Ali Bomaye on December 12, 2012.…
“I’m pretty sure I like food more than people”
"I love food more than I love people" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. "I love food more than I like people. It's not even close" was posted on…
“I’m pretty sure there isn’t life on other planets. If there was, we would have sent them billions of dollars in foreign aid by now”
“I’m pretty sure there isn’t life on other planets. If there was, we would have sent them billions of dollars in foreign aid by now” is a jocular saying that has been printed on several…
“I’m proud to pay taxes; I could be just as proud for half the money”
Arthur Godfrey (1903-1983) made a fortune in hosting radio and television talent show. The October 1951 Reader's Digest quoted Godfrey: "I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United…
“I’m putting my grades up for adoption because I can’t raise them myself”
"I'm putting my grades up for adoption because I can't raise them myself" is a jocular school saying that has been printed on many images. “@BekahCohen98: Putting my grades up…
“I’m quitting to pursue my dream of not working here”
Many people quit their jobs to follow their dreams. "I'm quitting to pursue my dream of not working here" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm…
“I’m ready for the rest of this week! I have my umbrella, my flip flops, my mittens…”
"I'm ready for the rest of this week! I have my umbrella, my flip flops, my mittens, my suntan lotion, my winter coat, my sunglasses, my thermals, my iced tea and my hot chocolate!"…
“I’m ready for the weekend, but it’s only Tuesday”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterAakar Shroff@aakarI'm ready for the weekend, but it's only Tuesday7:35 AM · Mar 10, 2009·Twitter Web Client TwitterMarianne Stanley@Marianne70ready for…
“I’m ready to stop complaining about winter and start complaining about summer”
"I've been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat" (or "I've been waiting all winter to start complaining about the summer heat") is a spring saying that…
“I’m really getting into the Thanksgiving spirit. I’ve already given the bird to lots of people”
"I'm really getting into the Thanksgiving spirit. I've given the bird to lots of people in the last week or so" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "The…
“I’m really glad they made the Children’s Aid Society” (Children’s Aid Society jingle)
"I'm really glad they made the Children's Aid Society" is the popular jingle, available for listening on the Society's website. The Children's Aid Society began in New…
“I’m really into crossfit. I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in those jeans”
"I'm really into crossfit. I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in those jeans" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Yeah I do Crossfit.... I CROSS my…
“I’m really looking forward to the Autumn Olympics, particularly the Men’s Raking”
There are Summer Olympic Games and Winter Olympic Games, but nothing for autumn. Many people have suggested events (jokingly) that could be in an Autumn Olympics, such as bobbing for apples,…
“I’m really pleased with my vegetable patch. Haven’t wanted a vegetable in weeks”
A "smoking patch" is to stop smoking. A "vegetable patch" isn't to stop eating vegetables, but there are jokes. "I'm really pleased with my vegetable patch.…
“I’m really sick and tired of food having calories”
"I'm getting real sick and tired of food having calories" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm really sick and tired of food having calories"…
“I’m really tired of eating the same shit, but ain’t no new animals coming out”
"I'm really tired of eating the same shit, but ain't no new animals coming out" was posted on X/Twitter by Musically_Inclined on March 28, 2017. "I'm really tired of…
“I’m really tired of the LED headlights on some cars. Like I’m really glad you can see 92 miles…”
LED headlamps on cars can annoy other drivers. This was posted on Twitter by k i r b y on December 5, 2018, and received over 213,600 likes: "I'm really tired of the LED headlights on…