“A lot of people my age are dead”
Former New York Yankees baseball manager Casey Stengel (1890-1975) was the league's oldest manager when he took that position on the expansion New York Mets. For Stengel's 74th birthday…
Windy Apple (fictional Capital City nickname)
“A lot of people were confused at the grand opening ceremony of my ribbon-repair business yesterday”
Many businesses are opened by a ribbon-cutting ceremony. But what if the business is repairing ribbons? "The opening ceremony for my ribbon repair business was pretty confusing" was…
“A lot of women are turning into good drivers. If you’re a good driver, watch out for turning women”
Many jokes from the 1950s and 1960s portray women as bad drivers. A more modern joke is: "A lot of women are turning into good drivers. So, if you're a good driver, watch out for turning…
“A lot of yall don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach”
A school's football (or basketball) coach sometimes teaches other subjects. "A lot of y’all don’t know bout politics cause your history teacher was the football coach and it shows.…
“A lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math”
It's long been known that the odds of a person winning the lottery are not good; a person stands more of a chance of being struck by lightning. The saying "A lottery is a tax on people…
“A macaron is just an Oreo that studied abroad”
Oreo cookies have been compared to macarons. "Macarons are like fancy Oreos" was posted on Twitter by Mary Cath on April 10, 2010. "Macarons are basically fancy Oreos no?" was…
“A machine learning algorithm walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An algorithm version is: "A machine learning algorithm walks into a bar. The bartender…
“A magazine is a bunch of printed pages that tell you what’s coming in the next issue”
Mad magazine (a humor magazine) made fun of magazines when it published the following joke in 1960: "Magazine . . . bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming next issue."…
“A magician was driving down the road. Then he turned into a driveway”
A popular joke involves a magician and transportation: "A magician was driving down the road. Then he turned into a driveway." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007.…
“A malapropism walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A malapropism version is: "A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive…
“A male feminist walks into a bar because it was set so low” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version involving a different kind of "bar" is: "A male feminist walks…
“A man bitten twice by the same snake is a fool”
"Don't/Never let the same snake bite you twice" is a proverbial saying that has been printed on many images. It's similar to the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool…
“A man doesn’t walk into a bar…” (bar joke, told during COVID-19 bar closures)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." However, during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, bars were closed. The joke was: "A…
“A man doesn’t walk into a pub…” (pub joke, told during COVID-19 pub closures)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." However, during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, pubs were closed. The joke was: "A…
“A man fell in a barrel of whiskey, but he died in good spirits”
A popular vaudeville joke in the 1890s told that "a man fell in a barrel of whiskey, but he died in good spirits." "Died in Good Spirits --A young man drowned in a tank of whisky the…
“A man has been stealing wheels from police cars. Police are working tirelessly to catch him”
"Working tirelessly" doesn't mean working without tires, but there are jokes. "Police attending an incident returned to their car to find all four wheels had been stolen.…
“A man in a hat got a tan” (Manhattan)
How to spell "Manhattan"? One easy way for people to remember "Manhattan" is this: "A man in a hat got a tan." (It must have been a bad hat!) Variants include "A…
“A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A man in a wheelchair can't walk into a bar, but there are a few jokes about this.…
“A man in debt is caught in a net”
Entry in progress -- B.P. The proverb is cometimes credited to John Ray's 17th century book of English proverbs, but it does not appear there. Google BooksThe Salt-Cellars: Being a collection…
“A man in Saudi Arabia has been caught stealing hand sanitiser. He won’t need it now”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in panic buying of hand sanitizer. A joke was posted on Reddit -- DarkJokeCentral on April 26, 2020: "A man in Saudi Arabia has been caught stealing…