“I just strangled a mime with a cordless phone”
Many people hate mimes. "I just strangled a mime with a cordless phone" was posted on Twitter by Jason Maybe on January 22, 2011. "I just strangled a mime.... With a cordless…
Big Mango (Bangkok, Thailand nickname)
“I just switched my phone to airplane mode and a small child appeared and started kicking me”
"Airplane mode” for a phone or a computer (or similar electronic device) suspends radio-frequency signal transmission by the device, and was originally intended for safe air travel.…
“I just switched my phone to airplane mode and a small child appeared and started kicking me”
"Airplane mode” for a phone or a computer (or similar electronic device) suspends radio-frequency signal transmission by the device, and was originally intended for safe air travel.…
“I just totally misunderstood the meaning of ‘Strip Mall’ & could one of you guys send bail money?”
A "strip mall" doesn't have anything to do with "stripping," but there are jokes. "Apparently, I misunderstood the meaning of “strip mall.” Can someone bring me…
“I just used the self checkout in Walmart without needing assistance and they made me district manager”
Walmart stores promote self-checkouts, and many customers need assistance. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by mark on August 21, 2014: "I just used the self checkout in Walmart without…
“I just wanna be rich enough to throw leftovers away after dinner…”
A joke about leftovers was posted on Twitter by Amish PornStar™ on August 9, 2017: "I just wanna be rich enough to throw leftovers away after dinner instead of putting them in Tupperware and…
“I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink and have music at a normal volume…”
Some people want bars to be more like home. This was posted on Twitter by Katie D on January 21, 2023: "I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink and have music at a normal volume and…
“I just want some cheese & quiet”
"I just want some cheese and quiet" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is just a cheese lover's joke on the phrase "peace and quiet." "Cheese…
“I just want some cheese and quiet”
"I just want some cheese and quiet" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is just a cheese lover's joke on the phrase "peace and quiet." "Cheese…
“I just want to drink coffee, create stuff and sleep”
"I just want to drink coffee, create stuff and sleep" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been popular with artists and writers. "'I Just…
“I just want to have enough money that I don’t slow down to look at furniture left on the curb”
Many people leave unwanted items by the side of the road, hoping someone will take them. "I just want to have enough money that I don’t slow down to look at furniture left on the curb"…
“I just want to live in a world where I don’t end up saying, ‘What the hell is wrong with people?’ every time I leave my house”
"I just want to live in a world where I don't end up saying, 'What the hell is wrong with people?' every time I leave my/the house" is a saying that has been printed on…
“I just want to live in a world where I don’t have to say ‘What the hell is wrong with these people?’ every time I leave my house”
"I just want to live in a world where I don't end up saying, 'What the hell is wrong with people?' every time I leave my/the house" is a saying that has been printed on…
“I just want to travel, take pictures, drink coffee and be happy”
"I just want to travel, take pictures, drink coffee and be happy" is a saying that has been printed on many images "I just want to travel and listen to music and drink coffee and…
“I just want to: take photos, drink coffee, travel the world, meet new people, be happy”
"I just want to travel, take pictures, drink coffee and be happy" is a saying that has been printed on many images "I just want to travel and listen to music and drink coffee and…
“I just went into my local shop & asked for a bottle of water. Shop keeper said ‘Still water?’ I replied ‘Yeah, I haven’t changed my mind’”
A restaurant joke has a diner order water, and the waiter asks, "Still?" The waiter wants to know if it's "still" or "sparkling" water, but the diner hears this…
“I just witnessed a lady throw away the center of a cinnamon roll…”
A comment about cinnamon rolls was posted on Twitter by tanner olson and went viral (over 118,500 likes): "I JUST WITNESSED A LADY THROW AWAY THE CENTER OF A CINNAMON ROLL.THE CENTER OF A…
“I just won a reward for most secretive person in the office” (joke)
"I've just won the 'Most secretive person 2013' award. I can't tell you how much it means to me. #sickipedia" was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia Official on July 11,…
“I just yelled into a colander and strained my voice”
A colander is a kitchen utensil used to strain foods. "I just yelled into a colander and strained my voice" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "I just yelled into a…
“I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars break in during the night they will not wake me up”
"I keep all my valuables near the front door so if a burglar breaks in during the night they won't wake me up" was posted on X/Twitter by Tony P. on September 24, 2013. "I keep…