“What did the book tell the highlighter?”/“Mark my words!”
"Mark my words" is an expression meaning that one should remember what the speak is saying. "Mark my words" usually does not involve literally marking words, but there are…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“What did the bottle write on the postcard?”/“Wish you were beer!”
"Wish you were beer" is a drinking pun on “Wish you were here.” A riddle is: Q: What did the bottle write on the postcard?A: "Wish you were beer!" The riddle was posted on…
“What did the bowling vegetable get on that last frame?”/“A spare, I guess.”
"A spare I guess" for "asparagus" is a pun that has been printed on several images. A bowling "spare" asparagus pun is the most popular. "The joke will have…
“What did the bowling vegetable get on that last frame?”/“A spare, I guess.”
"A spare I guess" for "asparagus" is a pun that has been printed on several images. A bowling "spare" asparagus pun is the most popular. "The joke will have…
“What did the boy scout say when he fixed the car horn?”/“Beep repaired.”
The motto of the Boy Scouts of America is "Be Prepared." There's a joke: Q: What did the boy scout say when he fixed the car horn?A: "Beep repaired." The joke has been…
“What did the bread say to the butter?/‘You’re my butter half.’”
"You're my better half" shouldn't be confused with "you're my butter half," but there are jokes. "what did the skim milk say to the cream? 'You're…
“What did the broccoli say to the getaway driver?”/“Floret.”
The word "floret" (a cluster of flower buds) is pronounced in English as "floor it." In French, the word "floret" sounds like "floor-ay." There have been…
“What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?”/“Bison!”
Parents say "goodbye" when their children are sent off to school, prompting a silly joke: Q: What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?A: Bison! (Bye, son!) "What did…
“What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to eat?”/“Thistle have to do!”
An animal riddle (frequently told at Easter) is: Q: What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to east?A: "Thistle have to do!" The "thistle" pun has been cited in print…
“What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?”/“He wiped his ass.”
A cannibalism riddle is: Q: What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?A: He wiped his ass. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on October 1, 1993. Google Groups:…
“What did the cannibal eat at the Chinese restaurant?”/“Chow Man.”
A cannibal riddle involving a Chinese restaurant is: Q: What did the cannibal eat at the Chinese restaurant?A: Chow Man. The riddles was posted to Reddit -- Dad Jokes on April 9, 2017. Reddit --…
“What did the cat say when he lost all his money?”/“I’m paw!”
A cat riddle is: Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?A: I'm paw (poor)! The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.games.tiberian-sun on October 23, 1999, and has been printed on…
“What did the cat say when he lost all his money?”/“I’m paw!”
A cat riddle is: Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?A: I'm paw! The "paw"/"poor" joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.games.tiberian-sun on October 23,…
“What did the cauliflower bank robber say to the broccoli getaway driver?”/“Floret.”
The word "floret" (a cluster of flower buds) is pronounced in English as "floor it." In French, the word "floret" sounds like "floor-ay." There have been…
“What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?”/“Halloumi!”
A popular cheese joke is: Q: What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?A: Halloumi! (Hello me!) The joke has been cited in print since at least 2009. Wikipedia: HalloumiHalloumi…
“What did the chemist have for lunch? A Pb and J sandwich! And then he died of lead poisoning”
A peanut butter and jelly sandwich (PB&J) is popular in the United States. However, "Pb" is the chemical symbol for lead. "J" is an old symbol for iodine.…
“What did the chick say when his mum laid an orange?”/“Look what marmalade.”
"Marmalade" sounds like "mama laid," and there are jokes, usch as this riddle: Q: What did the chick say when his mum laid an orange? A: Look what marmalade. Versions of the…
“What did the chicken do when she saw a bucket of fried chicken?”/“She kicked the bucket!”
A chicken riddle is: Q: What did the chicken do when she saw a bucket of fried chicken?A: She kicked the bucket! To "kick the bucket" means to die. The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“What did the chocolate sauce say to the ice cream?”/“I’m sweet on you!”
An ice cream riddle -- popular on Valentine's Day -- is: Q: What did the chocolate sauce/syrup say to the ice cream?A: "I'm sweet on you!" The riddle has been cited in print…
“What did the Christmas tree say to the light bulb when it was sad?”/“Lighten up!”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: What did one Christmas tree say to another? A: Lighten up! "What did the Christmas tree say to the string of bulbs when they were sad? Lighten up! #christmas…