“I know HTML (How To Meet Ladies)”
"HTML" usually stands for "Hypertext Markup Language," the standard markup language for creating web pages. A backronym (back acronym) joke has been printed on many images:…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: Robert BenchleyRobert Charles Benchley (September 15, 1889 – November 21, 1945) was an American humorist, critic and actor.(...)So who's in a hurry?. To…
“I know it doesn’t sound like fun, but rolling lentils down a drain pipe to see which comes out first will set your pulses racing”
A "pulse" can mean a palpable beat of an artery, and a "pulse" can also mean an edible seed of the legume family. Some "pulses racing" jokes confuse the two meanings.…
“I know it’s cheesy, but I feel grate”
"I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate" is a pun-filled saying that has been printed on several images, usually with a picture of a cheese grater. The saying was posted on Twitter on…
“I know it’s irrational, but it bothers me when someone parks in front of my house to go visit my next door neighbor”
Many people who live on a quiet residential street don't like it when someone parks in front of their house (and who isn't coming to their house). The homeowner regards the space as…
“I know it’s not true, but let’s make the sonafabitch deny it” (a loaded political question)
A classic political story involves a loaded political question. A politician tells his campaign manager to spread the rumor that an opponent has sex with pigs. "We can't do that. It…
“I know it’s time to clean out my purse when my car assumes it’s a second passenger…”
Many people place a handbag on the empty passenger seat of a car. "I know it’s time to clean out my purse when my car assumes it’s a second passenger who’s not wearing their…
“I know loads of jokes about cash machines, I just can’t think of one atm”
"ATM" can stand for "Automated Teller Machine," but it can also mean "At The Moment." "I was gonna tweet a joke about a bank but I just can't think of one…
“I know my mom be reading some of my posts like, ‘I tried my best’”
"I bet my mom looks at my posts and thinks, 'I did all that I could'" is a social media saying that has been printed on many images.. "I know my mom looking at my posts…
“I know several jokes in sign language. I guarantee nobody has ever heard them”
Sign language is not a spoken language. A joke was posted on AskReddit on July 9, 2020: "I know several jokes in sign language. I guarantee nobody has ever heard them." Reddit --…
“I know she ate a worm, but we are not here to debate de bait deb ate”
"I know she ate a worm, but we are not here to debate de bait deb ate" is a silly saying that has been printed on several images. "look, i know she ate a worm but we are not here to…
“I know they didn’t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax return”
Most people don't like to pay taxes, but they want to comply. "I know they didn't ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my late tax return" was posted on Facebook by…
“I know you shouldn’t text and drive but I’ve only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay”
You shouldn't text while driving. Texting before driving is a different story. A joke is: "I know you shouldn't text and drive but I've only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I…
“I laugh stuff off cause prison don’t serve tequila”
"I laugh stuff off cause prison don't serve tequila" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, if the speaker were to real true thoughts on social media, it would…
“I lava baklava”
Baklava (a dessert) has nothing to do with lava, but there are jokes. Some baklava jokes involve the children's game of "the floor is lava." "I wonder if Greek kids play a game…
“I learn from the mistakes of people who take my advice”
It's an old proverb that people should learn from the mistakes of other people. "I learn from the mistakes of people who take/took my advice" is a jocular saying that has been…
“I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice”
It's an old proverb that people should learn from the mistakes of other people. "I learn from the mistakes of people who take/took my advice" is a jocular saying that has been…
“I leave homework for the last day because I’ll be older and wiser”
"I leave homework to the last day because I'll be older and therefore wiser" is a jocular saying that has been printed on posters and ecards. The joke was first cited on Twitter on…
“I led the pigeons to the flag” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)
The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…
“I left my dog for this?”
"I left my dog for this?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I left my dog to be here...this better be good" is another saying that has been printed on…