“If you remember the ‘60s, you weren’t really there”
The decade of the 1960s was known in the United States for drug use and music festivals such as Woodstock (held August 15–18, 1969, in Bethel, New York). "EXIT LINE: Comedian Charlie…
Nicknames/Slogans
“If you remove croutons from your salad, are they then called croutoffs?”
There are salad croutons, but no croutoffs. There are several jokes, such as "crouton, croutoff" (like "clap on, clap off" of The Clapper, and "wax on, wax off" from…
“If you say ‘excellent choice’ after somebody selects a floor in an elevator you can usually get a pity laugh”
Many people make small talk in an elevator. This was posted on X/Twitter by big diesel, and it received over 110,000 likes: "If you say 'excellent choice' after somebody selects a…
“If you say AT&T backwards you sound like a Canadian bomb technician” (joke)
AT&T Inc. is the world's largest telecommunications company and also the world's largest media and entertainment company. An AT&T joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on November…
“If you scroll down far enough, we’re all on the front page”
Web developers seek to place things on the "front page," but sometimes that page scrolls down for a long, long while. "If you scroll down far enough, is *everything* on the Front…
“If you see a bulge in a conservative woman’s pants, it’s a gun. If you see a bulge in a liberal woman’s pants, it’s a penis”
"If you see a bulge in a conservative woman’s pants, it’s a gun. If you see a bulge in a liberal woman’s pants, it’s a penis" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“If you see a class being taught by Gandalf, avoid it because YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
Gandalf is a protagonist in J. R. R. Tolkien's novels The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Many jokes have Gandalf as a teacher, shouting his famous line. "COLLEGE JOKE | I went to LOTR…
“If you see a good move, look for a better one” (chess adage)
"If you see a good move, look for a better one" is a chess adage meaning that one should study the position and not jump at the first good thought. The saying has also been used in…
“If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don’t you hit him?” (lawyer joke)
One popular lawyer joke -- yet another on the theme of killing lawyers -- is: Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?A: It might be your bicycle. The joke has…
“If you see a rabbit laying little brown eggs, don’t eat them. It’s not chocolate”
"If you see a rabbit laying little brown eggs, don't eat them. It's not chocolate" is a jocular saying that has been a Minions quote. The popular Easter saying was posted on…
“If you see a road sign that says ‘Survey Crew Ahead’ they actually are not looking for your opinions. I know that now”
The road sign "Survey Crew Ahead" confuses many people. A crew is surveying the road. "I saw a sign on the road while driving today that said, Survey crew ahead. I did. They looked…
“If you see a road sign that says ‘Survey Crew Ahead’ they are not actually interested in your opinion. I know that now”
The road sign "Survey Crew Ahead" confuses many people. A crew is surveying the road. "I saw a sign on the road while driving today that said, Survey crew ahead. I did. They looked…
“If you see a road sign that says ‘Survey Crew Ahead’, they do not want you to stop and answer questions. I know that now”
The road sign "Survey Crew Ahead" confuses many people. A crew is surveying the road. "I saw a sign on the road while driving today that said, Survey crew ahead. I did. They looked…
“If you see a Swiss banker jumping out of a window, follow him” (Voltaire?)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: VoltaireFrançois-Marie Arouet (21 November 1694 – 30 May 1778), better known by the pen name Voltaire, was a French Enlightenment writer, essayist, and…
“If you see a turtle on a fence, he had help getting there”
"If you see a turtle sitting on a fencepost, he had help getting there" is one of Bill Clinton's favorite phrases. The phrase is popular in both Arkansas and Texas to indicate the…
“If you see me at the gym sitting on the stationary bike, mind your business. I’m going downhill”
Entry in progress -- BP X/Twitter Michael P Spradlin @MSpradlinAuthor I don't understand why everyone at my gym asks me why I'm just sitting still on the stationary bike. Can't they…
“If you see me in public, it’s AI”
Some people like to stay at home and do not like to be seen in public. "If you see me in public, it's AI" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "if you see…
“If you see me running, call the police”
"If you see me running, call the police" is a jocular statement by a non-runner that has been printed on many ecards. "Mon, if you ever see me running, please call the Police, it…
“If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self employed and having a staff meeting”
"Please note that I am self employed. So if you see me talking to myself, please do not disturb. I'm having a staff meeting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“If you see me talking to myself, mind your business. I’m having a parent teacher conference.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreakThe 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute…