“Are you free tonight or will it cost me?” (pick-up line)
"Are you free tonight or will it cost me?" is a jocular example of a terrible pick-up line. "Are you free tonight?" is a pun on "Are you available tonight?" and…
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores
“Are you from Harvard and can’t count, or from MIT and can’t read?” (supermarket checkout joke)
Many supermarkets have a checkout for "10 items or less" or "12 items or less." A person with more items who goes to that checkout either can't read or can't count --…
“Are you putting the Christmas tree up yourself?”/“No, I’m going to put it up in the living room!”
A somewhat NSFW Christmas tree joke was posted on Twitter by Andy L Smith on December 18, 2009: "I bought a Christmas tree today The girl in the shop asked if I was going to put it up myself I…
“Are you ready to rock…paper, scissors?”
Rock music has nothing to do with the game of "rock-paper-scissors," but there are jokes. "Are You Ready To Rock…Paper, Scissors?" was posted on the blog sink or schwim. on…
“Are you supposed to tip the waiters here?” (joke)
An old joke involves tipping the waiter (the server) or the waiter (a person who waits). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1911: Customer -- Is it usual to tip the waiters here?Waiter…
“Are you watching too much TV, but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on. Problem solved”
"Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on" is a jocular one-line saying about television. The saying was posted on Twitter by "Not Zach…
“Area 51 is where they keep all of the Walmart cashiers”
Walmart (an American multinational retail corporation) has been compared to Area 51 (a highly classified United States Air Force facility, often associated with UFOs). "I think area 51 is…
“Aren’t all books text books?”
Students read from textbooks, but why call them "text" books? Don't all books -- except picture books and blank books -- have text? "All this news about Texas text books got me…
“Aren’t you supposed to call a doctor if your election lasts this long?”
Men using a product such as Viagra are often warned about priapism -- that those with an erection lasting longer than four hours should see a doctor. This "erection" advice has been used…
“Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics…”
The Special Olympics is a sports organization for children and adults with intellectual disabilities. A politically incorrect meme uses "Special Olympics" to define a meaningless victory.…
“Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics…”
The Special Olympics is a sports organization for children and adults with intellectual disabilities. A politically incorrect meme uses "Special Olympics" to define a meaningless victory.…
“Arguing that you don’t care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than…”
"Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to…
“Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement—just click on ‘I agree’”
"Arguing with a woman is like reading the software license agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click 'I agree'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several…
“Arizona Tea is the adult version of Capri Sun”
Arizona tea has been compared to Capri Sun drinks. "Arizona tea is like Capri Sun for adults" was posted on Twitter by anthropologie hinge guy on August 28, 2011. "Oomf said Arizona…
“Armadillo implies the existence of legadillo”
An armadillo exists, but a legadillo does not. "No one panic but an armadillo implies the existence of a handadillo and perhaps even a legadillo" was posted on X/Twitter by feral weasel…
“Arms are for hugging” (anti-nuke, gun control slogan)
"Arms are for hugging" is an anti-nuke and anti-gun ("arms") slogan that has been printed on many images. The anti-nuke version appears to be from 1976, and the anti-gun version…
“Arms change. Rights don’t”
"Arms change. Rights don't" is a pro-gun (pro-Second Amendment and right to bear arms) saying that has been printed on many images, often with founding father Thomas Jefferson. The…
“Army Wife: Toughest job in the Army”
"Army Wife: Toughest job in the Army" is a slogan that has appeared on many gift items, such as bumper stickers and T-shirts. "Army wife: It's the toughest job in the…
“Around Christmas, the Fanta company should send out a ‘Fanta Claus’ who gives out free soda”
Fanta soda has nothing to do with Santa Claus, but many have suggested a "Fanta Claus" or "Fanta Clause," who brings soda on Christmas. "How has the soda company Fanta…
“Around the corner where fudge is made” (the buttocks; the bathroom)
A popular bawdy children's chant (dating at least from the 1960s) is: "Milk, milk, lemonade, Around the corner where fudge is made." "Milk" is accompanied with the touching…