“Google before you tweet is the new think before you speak”
"Think before you speak" is an old proverb that has been cited in print since at least the 17th century. "Think before you tweet" is a social media proverb that has been cited…
Work/Businesses
“Google image results are like a party that starts off exactly how you expected and gets weirder”
Google Images is a collection of images by the Google search engine. The top images are usually the most relevant. A popular joke is: "Google image results are like a party that starts off…
“Google now hiring! No need to apply, we already have all your information”
"Google now hiring! No need to apply, we already have all (of) your data/information" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Google is an internet company that collects…
“Google now hiring! No need to apply. We already have all of your data”
"Google now hiring! No need to apply, we already have all (of) your data/information" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Google is an internet company that collects…
“Goose is cooked”
To say that "one's goose is cooked" means that a person is in trouble (such as overwhelming debt or other problems) that can't be escaped. The term "gone goose,"…
“Gospel is about God; blues is about women”
the difference between gospel music and blues music is that "Gospel is about God; blues is about women." The music saying has been cited in print since at least the 1970s and is of…
“Gossip always travels fastest over grapevines that are slightly sour”
"Gossip always travels fastest over grapevines that are slightly sour" is a popular modern statement about gossip. The saying appeared as "Today's Chuckle" in many…
“Gossip columnist—One who writes other’s wrongs”
A jocular definition of a gossip columnist is: "Gossip columnist -- one who writes other's wrongs." The definition has been cited in print since at least 1964. It's not known…
“Gossip is news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress”
Liz Smith (1923-2017) began a gossip column in the New York (NY) Daily News on February 16, 1976; she made frequent appearances on NBC's Live at Five and other television shows, and she also…
“Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid”
"Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves (practically) nothing unsaid" is a saying that has been attributed to New York gossip columnist Walter Winchell (1897-1972).…
“Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don’t”
"Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't" has usually been credited to Earl Wilson (1907-1987), who wrote a New York (NY) Post syndicated entertainment…
“Got a cold and it’s making me purchase new vehicles each day. Must be the ‘car owner’ virus”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is sometimes jocularly understood as the "car owner virus." "Car Owner Virus" was posted on Twitter by Loudmouthman on January 22, 2020.…
“Got a job as a human statue. It’s a permanent position”
Many job seekers want a "permanent position." A "permanent position" doesn't mean to become a statue, but there are jokes. "Finally managed to get myself a job as a…
“Got a new job making periscopes. Things are looking up”
"Things are looking up" means that conditions are getting better. This usually doesn't involve actually looking up, but there are jokes. "I have had some good news today.I have…
“Got fired from the glue factory today. They said I wasn’t cut out for a fast paste work environment”
A "fast paced working environment" shouldn't be written as "fast paste working environment," but there are jokes. "Fast paste environment" was printed in a…
“Got home from work today to find my kids have been on eBay all day…” (joke)
"I came home yesterday and the mrs had been on eBay all day... If she doesn’t sell tonight I’ll lower the price..." was posted on Twitter by Shaun on November 13, 2021. "Got home…
“Got my first shot. Going to get my second shot as soon as the bartender comes back”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines that usually required to shots. "Just got my first shot. I'll get my second one as soon as the bartender gets back down here"…
“Got my Pfizer vaccine this morning. Pfeeling pfine!”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in several companies competing to make vaccines. One of those companies was Pfizer, Inc. (pronounced without the "p," like…
“Got sacked because I couldn’t make 1000 tubes of glue an hour. I wasn’t ready for a fast paste working environment”
A "fast paced working environment" shouldn't be written as "fast paste working environment," but there are jokes. "Fast paste environment" was printed in a…
“Got Tea?” (tea party variant of “Got Milk?”)
"Got Milk?" is a popular milk advertising campaign that began in 1993. At a TEA (Taxed Enough Already) party in Cincinnati (OH) on March 15, 2009, "Got Tea?" shirts (using a…