“Did you get a haircut?”/“No, I got them all cut.”
Getting a haircut does not mean getting a single hair cut, but the popular dad joke exchange is: WIFE: Did you get a haircut?HUSBAND: No, I got them all cut. Versions of the joke have been cited in…
Buildings/Housing/Parks
“Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned? They were river dancing”
The show Riverdancing doesn't involve Irish dancing in a river, but there are jokes. "Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned? They were riverdancing" was posted on…
“Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage”
A theatre joke is: ""Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage." The "just going through a stage" pun has been cited…
“Did you hear about the angry gymnast? He just flipped”
A gymnastics pun is: "Did you hear about the angry gymnast? He just flipped." The joke was posted on Twitter on September 6, 2012. “Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just…
“Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped”
A pancake pun is: "Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped." The joke was posted on Twitter on February 21, 2012. “Did you hear about the angry gymnast? He just flipped”…
“Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit!”
A joke about a certain brand of chewing gum is: "Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit!" The joke has been cited in print since at least 2006.…
“Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money? It suffered from withdrawals”
A banking joke about an AtM was posted on Twitter by Jason Parker on May 17, 2014: "Did you hear about the ATM that was addicted to money? It suffered from withdrawals. #BadJokeSaturday"…
“Did you hear about the barista who became really buff? She’s been working on her French press”
A French press is not a piece of gym equipment, but there's a joke: "Did you hear about the barista who became really buff? She's been working on her French press."…
“Did you hear about the barista who became really buff? She’s been working on her French press”
A French press is not a piece of gym equipment, but there's a joke: "Did you hear about the barista who became really buff? She's been working on her French press."…
“Did you hear about the boxing match between a rabbit and a hedgehog? The hedgehog won on points”
"Did you hear about the boxing match between the rabbit and the hedgehog? The hedgehog won on points" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by C. Joke on January 10, 2010. The hedgehog has…
“Did you hear about the bread maker who was into BDSM? He was gluten for punishment”
"Gluten" shouldn't be confused with "glutton," but there are jokes. One joke on the phrase "glutton for punishment" is "gluten for punishment."…
“Did you hear about the cannibal policeman who was arrested for grilling his suspects?”
Policemen give suspects a "grilling," but that's usually not literal. "Did you hear about the cannibal policeman who was arrested? He was caught grilling his suspects" was…
“Did you hear about the cannibal policeman who was arrested for grilling his suspects?”
Policemen give suspects a "grilling," but that's usually not literal. "Did you hear about the cannibal policeman who was arrested? He was caught grilling his suspects" was…
“Did you hear about the carpenter who drank on the job? He got hammered”
"I used to go out with a carpenter. He got hammered every night" is a drinking pun that was posted on Twitter by TrishB on November 15, 2010. "Did you hear about the carpenter who…
“Did you hear about the carpenter who drank too many screwdrivers? He got hammered”
"I used to go out with a carpenter. He got hammered every night" is a drinking pun that was posted on Twitter by TrishB on November 15, 2010. "Did you hear about the carpenter who…
“Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the Olympics? It fell at the final curdle”
"Curdle" doesn't sound like "hurdle," but there have been cheese puns. "Did you hear about the cheese that failed? It fell at the final curdle" was posted on…
“Did you hear about the coin shortage? Apparently, America is literally out of common cents”
The 2019-2020 coronavirus pandemic resulted in a coin shortage in the United States. "The recent coin shortage shows us that we're all 'Missing common cents?'" -- a pun on…
“Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil”
Mathematicians solve problems with a pencil and paper. A popular joke is: "Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil." The joke has been cited in…
“Did you hear about the dancer’s birthday? It was a tappy one!”
A joke about a dancer's birthday has been printed on an image: "Did you hear about the dancer's birthday? It was a tappy one!" The "tappy" birthday saying has been…
“Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail?” (joke)
A joke about English teachers is: "Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail? She got a full sentence." The pun was cited on Twitter on August 5, 2013. “I wanted to marry…