“I thought they said 1.31 miles” (half marathon joke)
A half marathon is 13.1 miles. "I thought they said 1.31 miles" (or "I thought it was 1.31 miles") is a joke that has been printed on many images. "13.1?!??! I thought you…
A half marathon is 13.1 miles. "I thought they said 1.31 miles" (or "I thought it was 1.31 miles") is a joke that has been printed on many images. "13.1?!??! I thought you…
The expression "a lot to take on board" means that there's a lot to consider (or learn or do), but a joke takes this expression literally. "Started a new job as a airport…
A boomerang pun was posted on Twitter on October 31, 2009: "I threw a boomerang at a ghost the other day. I knew it would come back to haunt me." The ghost joke has been popular around…
A box of animal crackers often has a "seal" cracker. A joke was posted on the newsgroup comp.databases.informix on August 17, 1993: "'I bought a box of animal crackers. It said,…
If you tie up spaghetti, does it become a jump rope? "I got bored last night, so I tied all of my spaghetti together. I ended up skipping dinner" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by…
Zoom video communications became popular in 2020 during the coronavirus pandemic. Some people told jokes on Zoom calls. "I told a joke on a Zoom call today and no one laughed. I guess I'm…
There's an old joke about an employee asking for a raise: EMPLOYEE: I need a pay raise, sir. Three companies are after me!BOSS: What companies?EMPLOYEE: The gas company, the water company and…
"Stair" shouldn't be confused with "stare," but there are jokes. "And the time I confused a builder by wanting an unpainted set of steps. He just gave me a blank…
"Stair" shouldn't be confused with "stare," but there are jokes. "And the time I confused a builder by wanting an unpainted set of steps. He just gave me a blank…
"Stair" shouldn't be confused with "stare," but there are jokes. "And the time I confused a builder by wanting an unpainted set of steps. He just gave me a blank…
"Cycologist" sounds like "psychologist," but means a "cycling" or "spinning" teacher/instructor. "Cycle clinics with 'cycologist' Mal…
The Daylight Saving Time practice of "spring forward, fall back" has everyone setting a clock back one hour in the fall. A dyslexic "turn your clock back" joke was posted on…
A "hot co-worker" is sometimes just hot. "Told hot coworker how I felt and she felt the same way. I opened the window" was posted on Twitter by Alexander Gibbons on April 4,…
A typical "mother-in-law joke" involves her coming to the son-in-law's house. "Pat told his mother-in-law to make herself at home. She did. She sold it" was printed in the…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic cancelled many vacations. "I told my suitcases that there will be no vacation this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage" was posted on…
American stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) told a now classic joke about husbands and wives. "I told my wife a man is like good wine; he gets better with age. So she locked me…
American stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) told a now classic joke about husbands and wives. "I told my wife a man is like good wine; he gets better with age. So she locked me…
A winter joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on April 25, 2017: "I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps. All I got was icy stares." "Icy…
"I told myself I should stop drinking… But I’m not about to listen to some drunk who talks to himself" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was…
New York City has some tough neighborhoods. "I told the doctor I broke my arm/leg/nose in two places," a comedian sometimes says. "The doctor told me to quit going to those…