“I threw out animal crackers because the box said, ‘Do not consume if seal is broken’”
A box of animal crackers often has a “seal” cracker. A joke was posted on the newsgroup comp.databases.informix on August 17, 1993:
“‘I bought a box of animal crackers. It said, “Do not eat if seal is broken.” Sure enough…’—Bryant Kiely”
It’s not known if Bryant Kiely was the first to tell the joke.
Wikipedia: Animal cracker
An animal cracker is a particular type of small cracker/cookie, baked in the shape of an animal, usually an animal either at a zoo or circus, such as a lion, a tiger, a bear or an elephant. The most common variety is light-colored and slightly sweet, but darker chocolate-flavored and colorful frosted varieties are also sold. Although animal crackers are made with a layered dough like crackers, they tend to be sweet in flavor, but still technically a cracker and not a cookie.
Google Groups: comp.databases.informix
Talking Heads (head hunters) and killing turbos
Colonel Panic
8/17/93
(...)
‘I bought a box of animal crackers. It said, “Do not eat if seal is broken.” Sure enough…’—Bryant Kiely
Google Groups: comp.databases.informix
More Broken Pipes!
Informix Info
10/4/93
(...)
I bought a box of animal crackers. It said, “Do not eat if seal is broken.” Sure enough…’ —Bryant Kiely
Google Books
The Reader’s Digest
Volume 149
1996
Pg. 100:
When our friend Susie returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for. Then he spread the animal-shaped cookies all over the counter. “What are you doing?” Susie demanded, her arms full of grocery bags.
“The box says you can’t eat ‘em if the seal is broken,” the boy explained. “I’m looking for the seal.”
29 September 1997, Aberdeen (SD) American News, “The Family Circus” comic strip by Bil Keane, pg. 5B, col. 5:
(A child sees one of the animal crackers is broken.—ed.)
“Is this box of animal crackers okay to eat? The seal is broken.”
Google Books
Joke ni Erap:
A jokebook to support serious journalism
By the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism
Metro Manila, Philippines: Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism
1999
Pg. 96:
Erap opens the box of animal crackers and spreads them all over the table. “What are you doing?” his mother asks. “The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is broken,” Erap explained. “I’m looking for the seal.”
Chowhound
Food Jokes
DuchessNukem nov 21, 2012 10:51 pm
I bought a box of animal crackers, and it said on it, ‘Do not eat if seal is broken.’ So I opened up the box, and sure enough…
Twitter
Haavoc
@haavoc
Animal Crackers: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken!
12:17 PM - 8 Apr 2007
Twitter
BoredInLA
@BoredInLA
I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it “Do not eat if
seal is broken.” So I opened up the box, and sure enough…
8:01 AM - 28 Jul 2008
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/[deleted] September 2, 2012
I bought a box of animal crackers yesterday…
I was about to open it and the box read “Do not eat if seal is broken”.
Well I opened it up and sure enough…
Twitter
LetMeSeeYourHands~
@MissyTowe
I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it “Do not eat if seal is broken.” So I opened up the box, and sure enough…
7:30 PM - 27 Feb 2014
Google Books
Once Apun A Time:
A Rich, Historical and Sometimes Earthy Collection of Puns
By Robin Leech
Victoria, BC: FriesenPress
2015
Pg. ?:
Animal Crackers
When his Mum returned home with the groceries, the boy pulled out the box of animal crackers he had been begging for. .He spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter.
“What are you doing?” his Mum asked.
He replied, “The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is broken, so I’m looking for the seal.”
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/WharfBlarg February 24, 2015
I bought a box of animal crackers…
I bought a box of animal crackers and the label said, “Do not eat if seal is broken.”
I open the box and sure enough…
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Happy_Go_Lurky June 1, 2019
I had to throw out my animal crackers.
The package said “do not consume if seal is broken”
Credit to my dad 😊