“I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it”
A pun about speed bumps has made many images: "I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it." "I have an irrational fear of speed bumps but I'm getting over…
Food/Drink
“I have a feeling that my ‘check liver’ light’ may come on this weekend”
Cars have a "check engine" light. People do not have a "check liver" light to see if it can handle more alcohol, but there are jokes. "Check liver light" has been…
“I have a five year plan to become more spontaneous”
Many people make plans to be more spontaneous, but do they make long term plans? "I have a five year plan to become more spontaneous" was posted on Twitter by Daveastated on August 27,…
“I have a friend who’s half Indian. Ian”
"I have a friend who's half Indian. Ian" was posted on Twitter by Ben Ames on June 20, 2011. “@sickipediabot: I have a friend who's half Indian. Ian” was posted on Twitter…
“I have a hard time finishing what I sta—”
Some people have a hard time finishing what they start. "Sometimes I have a hard time finishing what I sta" was posted on Twitter by OnWave on July 25, 2010. "I HAVE A HARD TIME…
“I have a horse named Mayo. Mayo neighs”
"Mayonnaise" sounds like "mayo neighs." A group of singers were called the "Mayo-Neighs" according to a 1968 newspaper. A horse was named "May O'Neighs"…
“I have a joke about a broken clock, but it’s not the right time”
"I have a joke about a broken clock but it’s not the right time" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Matt Walsh on July 25, 2020. "I was gonna tell a a joke about a broken…
“I Have a Little Dreidel” or “My Dreidel” (The Dreidel Song)
Entry in progress -- B.P.dreidel Wikipedia: I Have a Little Dreidel"I Have a Little Dreidel" (also known as "The Dreidel Song" or "Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel") is a…
“I have a lot of acting experience if you count every time I’ve pretended to not want the last piece of pizza”
Many people pretend not to want to eat the last piece of food. "I have a lot of acting experience if you count every time I’ve pretended to not want the last piece of pizza" was posted…
“I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work”
"I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "I thought up a lot of jokes about unemployed people,…
“I have a love hat relationship with autocorrect”
"I have a love hat relationship with auto-correct...." -- a pun on "love-hate relationship" -- was posted on Twitter by John Daugherty on August 7, 2011. "I have a love hat…
“I have a lovely gold watch—a family heirloom. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold it to me”
Woody Allen performed this joke in his early 1960s standup act, and it was printed in Parade magazine on December 21, 1963: "I have a lovely gold watch -- a family heirloom. My grandfather, on…
“I have a medical condition. I’m allergic to tyranny. It makes me break out in rebellion”
"I have a medical condition. I'm allergic to tyranny. It makes me break out in rebellion" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is in reference to the COVID-19…
“I have a pen that can write underwater! It can also write other words, too”
"I've got a pen that can write underwater. And lots of other words" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Miles Watts on September 19, 2014. "I just got a pen that can write…
“I have a pet manatee named Hugh. I built him a house. It’s a habitat for Hugh manatee”
Habitat for Humanity builds houses for underserved communities. "Humanity" can sound like "Hugh Manatee," and there are jokes. "Habitat for Hugh, Manatee…
“I have a pogo stick made out of vegetables. It’s a spring onion”
"Spring onions" don't contain springs, but there are jokes. "I have a pogo stick made out of vegetables. It’s a spring onion. Spring Jokes..." was posted on X/Twitter by…
“I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer and I have a Czech one too”
Sound engineers often test by saying, "Check one-two." A joke has been printed on several images: "I have a Polish friend who is a roadie for a band. I have a Czech one too. A Czech…
“I have a pretty big ass, so when I half ass something. you’re still getting something impressive”
"I have a pretty big ass/butt, so when I half ass something. you're still getting something impressive" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Something…
“I have a pretty big butt, so when I half ass something you’re still getting something impressive”
"I have a pretty big ass/butt, so when I half ass something. you're still getting something impressive" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Something…
“I have a rice cake joke, but it’s tasteless”
Many people find rice cakes to be tasteless. "I have a rice cake joke, ......but it's tasteless" was posted on Twitter by Double Canister on July 25, 2020. "I had a joke about a…