“I forgot the French word for strawberry, so I looked it up in a fraise book”
"Fraise" is the French word for "strawberry." "When going on a strawberry-picking holiday in France, my advice is to get a good fraise book" was posted on Twitter on…
Food/Drink
“I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s ten years in a row now”
"I forgot to go to the gym today. That makes ten years in a row" is a jocular line that has been printed on posters and T-shirts. "I forgot to go to the gym today. That's four…
“I forgot to post on Facebook that I was going to the gym. Now my entire workout is a waste of time”
“I forgot to post on Facebook that I was going to the gym. Now this entire workout was a waste of time!” is a joke about many people's Facebook obsession that has been printed on many…
“I forgot to post on Facebook that I was going to the gym. Now my entire workout is a waste of time”
“I forgot to post on Facebook that I was going to the gym. Now this entire workout was a waste of time!” is a joke about many people's Facebook obsession that has been printed on many…
“I found a builder who advertises ‘No job too small’ so I’ve got him tiling the doll’s house”
"No job too small" is what some companies advertise. A joke is: "Found a builder who advertises 'No job too small' so I've got him tiling the bathroom in my…
“I found a hat with $17.50 in it. A guy was too busy juggling to pick it up”
Many public performers leave a hat (to collect donations) on the ground. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 17, 2018: "I found a hat with £17.50 in it. I thought this other lad was…
“I found a hole in my trainer that’s big enough to put my finger through” (joke)
A pun about "trainers" (sneakers) has been printed on several images: "I found a hole in my trainer that's big enough to put my finger through. One formal complaint from her,…
“I found a wallet today and as a good Christian I thought, ‘What would Jesus do?’” (joke)
A drinking joke has been printed on several images: "I found a wallet today and as a good Christian I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So i turned it into wine." "Today I…
“I found a wallet today and as a good Christian I thought, ‘What would Jesus do?’” (joke)
A drinking joke has been printed on several images: "I found a wallet today and as a good Christian I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So i turned it into wine." "Today I…
“I found a way to get rid of some unwanted junk during the holidays. Put it in an Amazon box. Leave it on the porch”
"Need to get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays? Put it in Amazon boxes and leave it on your front porch" is a jocular saying that has been printed on may images. That is, people…
“I found it at the Colony!” (Colony Music Center)
"I found it! (at the Colony)" is the slogan on the outside of the Colony Music Center, 1619 Broadway. The Colony has a large selection of music; if you've got a Broadway show tune in…
“I found stir fry all over my bed this morning. I must have been sleep wokking again”
"Wok" can sound like "walk." Some people experience sleepwalking, and "sleep-wokking" has become a joke. "While we’re talking about sleep.. I woke up this…
“I found the key to success, only to discover that the door was never locked”
People often seek the key (or keys) to success. The "key" is a metaphor. "I found the key to success, only to discover that the door was never locked" is a one-line saying that…
“I found this great place online to order quality sausage. I’ll send you a link”
Internet links and sausage links aren't the same links, but there are jokes. "I get them online. I'll send you a link."/"Oh, well, at home, I smoke sausages. I'll send…
“I found this on the local café menu—idemx rilgl. It was mixed grill”
A joke about "mixed grill" is of uncertain authorship. "I found this on the local café menu - idemx rilgl. So I asked the waitress what is it? She said mixed grill" was posted…
“I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves”
American abolitionist Harriet Tubman (1822-1913) is often credited with saying: "I freed thousands of slaves. I could have freed thousands more, if they had known they were slaves." There…
“I gave my freedom away to get my freedom back and I’m still not free and it’s all your fault”
"I gave my freedom away to get my freedom back and I'm still not free and it's all your fault" (or "I gave up my freedom to get my freedom back and I'm still not free…
“I gave up cross-country skiing. Since then, it’s all been downhill”
Many skiing jokes have it that things started off OK, but "went downhill." "couple met on ski trip? .things went downhill after that" was posted on X/Twitter by Mick O Callaghan…
“I gave up drinking on the 1st of January. It’s better for your health, and it’s only one day”
A joke at first sounds like a new year's resolution, but it isn't. "I gave up drinking on the 1st of January. It's better for your health, and it's only one day a…
“I gave up my freedom to get my freedom back and I’m still not free and it’s all your fault”
"I gave my freedom away to get my freedom back and I'm still not free and it's all your fault" (or "I gave up my freedom to get my freedom back and I'm still not free…