“I love to go to Washington—if only to be near my money”
"I love to go to Washington -- if only to be near my money" was said by the comedian and actor Bob Hope (1903-2003) in the late 1940s and was popularized in the Reader's Digest.…
Food/Drink
“I love to see ‘pan-fried’ on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe or a dolphin or something”
Many people believe that the term "pan-fried" is redundant. Where else would the food be fried? "'pan-fried' is a dreadfully redundant phrase... as opposed to 'fried…
“I love watching The History Channel. It’s my favorite past time”
The History Channel deals with a "past time," and watching it can be a favorite "pastime." This joke was posted on Twitter by 3AM on September 13, 2019, and on Reddit --…
“I love when my boss catches me doing work”
Employees often live in fear of when a boss catches them not doing work. "I love when my boss catches me doing work" is a jocular saying of the opposite situation. "Gotta love when…
“I love you a latte”
"I love you a latte" is a cute saying that has been printed on many gift items. "I love you a latte" is a valentine that was posted to alt.fan.tom-robbins in February 1997.…
“I love you a yacht” (“I love you a whole yacht”)
"I love you a lot," to a boat owner, might be "I love you a yacht." "I love you a yacht" (or "I love you a whole yacht") is a saying that has been printed on…
“I love you like milk loves cookies”
"I love you like milk loves cookies" (or "I love you more than milk loves cookies") is a saying that has been printed on many images. Milk and cookies go together well.…
“I love you like the last slice of pizza”
"I love you like the last slice of pizza" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Everyone wants to take that last slice of pizza, although politeness and courtesy often…
“I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats”
"I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. Many Asian-American restaurants have a "beckoning cat" figurine…
“I love you more than coffee, but not always before coffee”
"I love you more than coffee, but not always before coffee" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many coffee mugs. "I love you more than coffee, but not always before…
“I love you more than milk loves cookies”
"I love you like milk loves cookies" (or "I love you more than milk loves cookies") is a saying that has been printed on many images. Milk and cookies go together well.…
“I love you to the fridge and back”
"I love you to the fridge and back" (or just "love you to the fridge and back") -- meaning "I love you a lot" -- is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I made a belt of herbs. It wasn’t useful and ended up being a waist of thyme”
"A waist of thyme" sounds like "a waste of time." "Waist of thyme" has been cited in print since at least 1981. "Did you hear about the dressmaker who wanted to…
“I made a chicken salad today. Cheeky bastard didn’t even eat it”
Is chicken salad made "of" a chicken or made "for" a chicken? A joke is: "I made a chicken salad today. Cheeky bastard didn't even eat it." The joke was posted on…
“I made a huge to do list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it”
A "to do" list is usually for one's self, not for others. "I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it" is a jocular saying…
“I made a killing in the stock market today—I shot my broker”
The term "to make a killing in the (stock) market" means "to make a lot of money" and dates to at least 1913. A joke with the term "market" surfaced by 1956:…
“I made a soup entirely from ingredients extracted from the atmosphere. It was a broth of fresh air”
"I made a soup entirely from ingredients extracted from the atmosphere. It was a broth of fresh air" -- a pun on "a breath of fresh air" -- is a joke that has been printed on…
“I made chili con carne from Scratch. I’ll miss Scratch. He was a good dog!”
Some home-cooked meals are said to be made "from scratch." "My Korean girlfriend made me dinner earlier.... a pie made from scratch. Gutted. Bloody loved that dog" is a joke…
“I made it so Jesus comes up on my laptop if I leave it alone for 5 minutes. He is my screen savior”
A "screensaver" should not be confused with a "screen savior," but there are jokes. The "screen savior" pun has been printed on many images. "Jesus is my screen…
“I made love for an hour and fifteen minutes. We turned the clocks ahead”
American comedian Garry Shandling (1949-2016) told a joke on a comedy special in 1989: ''I made love for an hour and 15 minutes. Well, it was on the day you push the clocks ahead."…