Some people look for the checkout with the hottest-looking cashier. "I always pick out the best looking cashier at the market, self check out lane it is" was posted on Twitter on…
"I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I always regret making a…
"I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I always regret making a…
"I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I always regret making a…
Some people say "please" and "thank you" even to a virtual assistant such as Siri or Amazon Alexa. The reason? "Nah, just practicing for when the machines take over? RT…
"I always see adults pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway and I’m like okay one of us is doing it wrong and I think it’s you" and "Sometimes I see people pour a glass of…
"I always start my diet on the same day -- tomorrow" is a jocular one-liner about people who never do start a diet. "I always start my diet on the same day: tomorrow" was cited…
"Stay in school" means that students shouldn't drop out, but some parents take this literally. "Every morning I tell my kids how important it is for them to stay in school...…
"Its not record science" -- that is, it's not complicated -- is an expression that has been popular since at least the 1980s. “It’s not rocket salad” is a joke based on the…
On July 15, 1980, Cincinnati Reds catcher Johnny Bench hit his 314th career home run, passing New York Yankees catcher Yogi Berra (1925-2015) to become the all-time home run leader among major…
"To go the extra mile" means to do extra work. It doesn't mean to escape work, but there's a popular joke: "I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always…
A performer before a live audience often waits for applause to die down before beginning the next number. Some people like to think the same thing happens on X/Twitter. Since this is my best tweet…
New York-born comedian and singer Joe E, Lewis (1902-1971) was known for drinking and staying up late in night clubs. He was not known for getting up at the crack of dawn. Lewis was quoted in a…
"Chants" sounds like "chance." "I've always wanted to be a Gregorian monk but I never really had the chants!" was posted on Twitter on August 14, 2017. "I…
"I always wanted to try juggling, but I never had the balls" is a jocular one-liner about juggling. "I've always wanted to try juggling..I've just never had the balls to do…
"I know this is controversial. But I am 100% in support of mandatory vacations for everyone and booster vacations every 4 months" is a joke that has been printed on many images.…
"I am 1776% sure no one will be taking my guns" (or "I am 1776% sure no one is taking my guns") is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "1776" is the…
"I am 1776% sure no one will be taking my guns" (or "I am 1776% sure no one is taking my guns") is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "1776" is the…
"I am 1776% sure no one will be taking my guns" (or "I am 1776% sure no one is taking my guns") is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "1776" is the…
A popular food riddle about a bean is: I am a bean; I am very lean. I am not fat; I am sure of that. Like all beans, I am small and round; but unlike others, I dont grow in the ground. What kind of…