“A modern bar mitzvah is more ‘bar’ than ‘mitzvah’”
A Bar Mitzvah is a Jewish coming of age ceremony. In the United States, the religious part is often followed by a big party (that includes a bar). The joke that the modern Bar Mitzvah is "more…
Food/Drink
“A mole walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A science joke is: "A mole walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Sorry, we…
“A moment on the lips, forever on the hips”
"A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" is an old dieters' saying. There are several lips/hips variations, such as "a second on the lips," "a minute on the…
“A month does not a trend make”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 9 October 1984, Philadelphia (PA) Inquirer, "Some casinos tightening their belts as revenues sag," pg. A1:Roffman added, "A month does not a trend…
“A morning without coffee is like sleep”
An advertisement that ran in the 1970s told people that "A day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine." What is a morning without coffee? "A morning without coffee is…
“A morning without coffee is like something without something else”
"A morning without coffee is like something without something else," "A day without coffee is like something without something" and "Life without coffee is like something…
“A mother gave birth during flight. The baby was airborne”
The word "airborne" has had some born-on-an-airplane "air born" puns. "My doctor friend helped deliver a baby during a flight, it's safe to say the baby was…
“A mother holds her children’s hands for a while, but their hearts forever”
"A mother holds her children's hands for a while, but their hearts forever" (or "Mothers hold their children's hands for a while, but their hearts forever") is a…
“A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people…”
A popular Mother's Day saying is: "A mother is a person who sees there are only four pieces of pie for five people and says she doesn't care for pie." The saying was published…
“A motion to adjourn is always in order”
A motion to adjourn is almost always in order, with an exception being when a vote is in progress. The motion is not debatable and is not subject to amendment. "The motion to adjourn is always…
“A movement is over when the news is out” (Wall Street adage)
"A movement is over when the news is out" is an old Wall Street adage, cited in print since at least 1906. The price of an asset reflects current value, but it also reflects what is…
“A movie ticket for baby should cost at least $50”
Many people can't stand crying babies at the movies. "A movie ticket for baby should cost at least $50" -- that is, an expensive price to discourage parents from taking babies to the…
“A muffin is a bald cupcake”
Cupcakes are often compared to muffins, and frosting is a key difference. "Muffins are (just) bald cupcakes" (or "A muffin is a bald cupcake") is a saying that has been printed…
“A mugger robs a congressman” (joke)
A popular political joke has a mugger demand of a well-dressed man, "Give me your money!" The man protests, "You can't do this! I'm a U.S. Congressman!" "In that…
“A mugger says to a university student, ‘Your money or your life!’” (joke)
"'Your money or your life!' 'Haha! Joke's on you, I don't have either of those things'" is a joke about an attempted robbery that was posted on Twitter on…
“A mummy covered in chocolate & nuts has been discovered. Archaeologists believe it’s Pharaoh Roche”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Ferrero RocherFerrero Rocher is a spherical chocolate produced by the Italian chocolatier Ferrero SpA. HistoryThe Ferrero Rocher was introduced in 1982 in…
“A music store was robbed. The robbers made off with the lute”
"Lute" (a musical instrument) shouldn't be confused with "loot" (contraband, plunder), but there are jokes. This joke was printed in the Detroit (MI) Free Press on May 25,…
“A musical comedy must have good legs for a long run”
What would a musical be without its dancers? A saying (of unknown authorship) has been cited in print since at least 1928: "A musical comedy with good legs ought to have a long run." 17…
“A mute walks into a bar and says…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A mute version is: "A mute walk into a bar and says..." The mute can't…
“A naked woman gets into a taxi…” (jokes)
A joke involves a cab driver -- usually a New York City taxi driver -- who picks up a naked woman. The driver stares. "Something wrong? Haven't you seen a naked women before?" the…