“A man walks into a bar with a newt…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A newt version is: A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman says,…
Food/Drink
“A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm…” (bar joke)
"One for the road" usually means that a person wants a drink at the bar before commencing on a long journey (such as on a train or an airplane, or a car that he or she is not driving). A…
“A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism problem is destroying his family” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An anti-joke of the bar joke is: "A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism problem is…
“A man walks into a bar… and stays there my entire childhood” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One version -- an anti-joke -- is: "A man walked into a bar...and stayed there for the…
“A man walks into a bar…” (bar jokes)
Bar jokes have existed probably as long as bars have existed. In the 1950s, the jokes began with animals (such as a dog or a kangaroo) coming into a bar and asking for a drink. By the 1970s, the…
“A man walks into a bar…lucky bastard” (bar joke, told during COVID-19 bar closures)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." However, during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, most bars were closed. The joke was:…
“A man walks into a library and asks if there are any books on poor eyesight…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." Sometimes the bar joke is mixed with a library joke. "A man walks into a library and…
“A man walks into a Soviet shop and asks, ‘You don’t have any meat?’” (scarcity joke)
A joke is told about food shortages in the Soviet Union. A person walks into a meat shop and says, "I suppose you don't have any fish?" A person who works there corrects him and…
“A man was seriously injured today after being run over by a reversing car….” (joke)
Police often ask for someone involved in an incident to "come forward" -- that is, to talk to the police. "Come forward" is meant literally in some "reversing car"…
“A man went into a library and asked, ‘Do you have any books on shelves?’” (joke)
A popular library joke has a man ask a librarian a simple -- but misunderstood -- question. “I was doing some DIY at home, so I went to the library and said, `Have you got any books on……
“A man went into a library and asked, ‘Do you have any books on shelving?’” (joke)
A popular library joke has a man ask a librarian a simple -- but misunderstood -- question. “I was doing some DIY at home, so I went to the library and said, `Have you got any books on……
“A man with authority walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One version is: "A man with authority walks into a bar. Order everyone a round…
“A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two is never sure”
The San Diego (CA) Union originated in September 1930 what would become a popular business proverb: "Confusion. -- Retail jewelers assert that every man should carry two watches. But a man…
“A man without a government is like a fish without a bicycle”
"A man without a government is like a fish without a bicycle" is a saying that has been printed on many images, usually credited to Alvaro Koplovich. "A woman without a man is like a…
“A man without a government is like a lion without a circus”
"A man without a government is like a lion without a circus" is a saying that has been printed on an image. "A man without a #government is like a lion without a circus.…
“A man’s health can be judged by which he takes two at a time: pills or stairs”
"A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time: pills or stairs" is a popular one-line saying about fitness. "The condition of a man can be judged by what he…
“A man’s life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus”
New York-based syndicated entertainment columnist Earl Wilson (1907-1987) wrote in November 1964: "WISH I'D SAID THAT: A man goes through three Santa Claus stages. First he believes in…
“A Man’s Breakfast: Eggs, bacon, and a goddamn gun”
"A MAN'S BREAKFAST Eggs, Bacon, And A Goddamn Gun" is a humorous poster. The breakfast combination was first cited in print on April 28, 2009. eBaum's WorldApril 28, 2009A…
“A manager eyes the bottom line; a leader eyes the horizon”
American author and organizational consultant Warren G. Bennis (1925-2014) wrote in On Becoming a Leader (1989): "The manager has his or her eye always on the bottom line; the leader's…
“A marathon runner walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A running version is: "A runner walks into a bar. The bartender asks, 'Why the…