“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room”
"If you're the smartest person in the room, then you're in the wrong room" is a saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying is usually not credited to any author.…
Food/Drink
“If you’re trying to cut carbs, use a knife”
Many people try to cut carbohydrates from their diets. These people are not literally trying to cut carbs, but there are jokes. "It's time to cut carbs. I will be henceforth using a knife…
“If you’re ugly but have pretty eyes, this is your chance!” (face mask requirement)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in face mask requirements. "If you're ugly with pretty eyes, this is your moment!" (or "If you're ugly, but have pretty eyes,…
“If you’re ugly but have pretty eyes, this is your time to shine!” (face mask requirement)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in face mask requirements. "If you're ugly with pretty eyes, this is your moment!" (or "If you're ugly, but have pretty eyes,…
“If you’ve gained weight and nobody wants to mention it, you are the elephant in the room”
The saying "the elephant in the room" is a metaphor for a big issue that people ignore (often on purpose). A joke on the saying was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on July 13, 2019:…
“If your boat turns upside down, you can wear it on your head. It’s capsized”
A riddle was posted on Twitter on January 15, 2013: Q: When can you wear a boat on your head? A: When it's capsized. "Did you know that you can fit any boat on your head like a hat, if…
“If your boss refuses to pay you more money, no problem. Just accuse them of raise-ism”
"Raise-ism" sounds a bit like "racism." "And asking for a raise is raiseism" was posted on Twitter on May 9, 2014. A work joke was posted on Twitter by LaffGaff on…
“If your coffee order requires more than four words, you’re part of the problem”
Many people believe that coffee orders should be simple. "If your coffee order requires more than five words to describe, I probably think you're an idiot" was posted on Twitter by…
“If your coffeeshop has one of those passive aggressive ‘no wifi pretend it’s the old days’ signs..”
"If your coffee shop has a passive aggressive 'no wifi pretend it's the old days' sign I'm gonna smoke in there & pay 50 cents for coffee" was posted on Twitter by…
“If your couch isn’t against a wall, you are unimaginably rich”
"If your couch isn’t against a wall you are unimaginably rich" was posted on Twitter by conntent mcnett on October 3, 2019. That is, if a couch is not against a wall, the room is not…
“If your country can afford to give money away to other countries, then you pay too much in taxes”
"If your country can afford to give money away to other countries, then you pay too much in taxes" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If your country can afford to…
“If your crush gets Covid, propose to her. She might say yes due to lack of taste”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic caused sufferers to have an absence of taste. Of course, there were some "lack of taste" jokes. "If your crush gets Covid, it's the right…
“If your crystal meth dealer has all of their teeth, they’re the cops”
"If your crystal meth dealer has all of their teeth, they're the cops/police" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many meth users suffer from "meth mouth."…
“If your crystal meth dealer has all of their teeth, they’re the police”
"If your crystal meth dealer has all of their teeth, they're the cops/police" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many meth users suffer from "meth mouth."…
“If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise”
"A fat dog is likely to have a fat master" was cited in print in 1958. Dogs and their owners often eat at the same time, and they both often walk (exercise) together. The saying "If…
“If your electric car runs out of power on the interstate, do you walk to a charging station to get a bucket of electricity?”
"If your electric car runs out of power on the interstate, do you walk to a charging station to get a bucket of electricity?" is a question that has been printed on many images. The joke…
“If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup”
"If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The line has been cited in print since at…
“If your food can go bad, it’s good for you. If it can’t go bad, it’s bad for you”
"If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If your food can't go bad, it's not good for you" (also "If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If it can't…
“If your food can go bad, it’s good for you. If it can’t, it’s probably not”
"If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If your food can't go bad, it's not good for you" (also "If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If it can't…
“If your food can go bad, it’s good for you. If your food can’t go bad, it’s not good for you”
"If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If your food can't go bad, it's not good for you" (also "If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If it can't…