“If they come for your guns, give them the bullets first”
"If/When they come for the/your guns, give ‘em the/your bullets first" (there are many slight variations) is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "When they come…
Food/Drink
“If they don’t chase you when you walk away, keep walking”
"If they don't chase you when you walk away, keep walking" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been used to refer to both personal and…
“If they don’t have alcohol at my funeral, I’m not going”
"If they don't have alcohol/beer/liquor at my funeral, I'm not going" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If there isn’t beer at my funeral I’m…
“If they don’t have liquor at my funeral, I’m not going”
"If they don't have alcohol/beer/liquor at my funeral, I'm not going" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If there isn’t beer at my funeral I’m…
“If they don’t have party favors & alcohol at my funeral, I’m not going”
"If they don't have alcohol/beer/liquor at my funeral, I'm not going" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If there isn’t beer at my funeral I’m…
“If they had just called it ‘the stay at home challenge’ and posted it on social media…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic forced many people to stay at home. "If they had just called it 'the stay at home challenge' and posted it on Facebook then the virus would be gone…
“If they liked it once, they’ll love it twice” (Broadway adage)
"If they liked it once, they'll love it twice" is a philosophy of Hollywood and Broadway, resulting in many sequels, revivals and copycat productions of a successful original.…
“If they really hated us for our freedom, shouldn’t it just be a mild dislike by now?”
"If they really hated us for our freedom, shouldn't it just be a mild dislike by now?" was posted on Twitter by Zahra Billoo on June 1, 2012. "If they really hated us for our…
“If they said on the news we’re running out of air some idiots would be outside with plastic bags”
"If they said on the news we’re running out of air, some idiots would be outside with plastic bags trying to catch it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, you…
“If they tell you to bring ice, you can’t cook”
"If they tell/told you to bring ice, you can't cook" is a saying that has been printed on many images. “If they tell you to just bring cups, plates and ice for Thanksgiving, your…
“If they tell you to just bring cups, plates and ice for Thanksgiving, your cooking sucks”
"If they tell/told you to bring ice, you can't cook" is a saying that has been printed on many images. “If they tell you to just bring cups, plates and ice for Thanksgiving, your…
“If they told you to bring ice, you can’t cook”
"If they tell/told you to bring ice, you can't cook" is a saying that has been printed on many images. “If they tell you to just bring cups, plates and ice for Thanksgiving, your…
“If they’re not serving beer at my funeral, I’m not going”
"If they don't have alcohol/beer/liquor at my funeral, I'm not going" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If there isn’t beer at my funeral I’m…
“If thieves wear sneakers and artists wear sketchers, do linguists wear converse?”
Converse shoes have nothing to do with conversations or conversing, but there are jokes. "What kind of shoes do linguists wear? converse" was posted on Reddit -- Funny on October 10,…
“If this doughnut and chocolate milk are going to take years off my life, could I have them remove 1978-1982?”
"If this doughnut and chocolate milk are going to take years off my life, could I have them remove 1978-1982?" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Steve Olivas on June 21, 2013.…
“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee”
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee" is a frequently cited anecdote that has usually been attributed to Abraham Lincoln…
“If this nameplate isn’t on the back of your car, you probably paid too much” (Potamkin car dealers)
Victor H. Potamkin established sucessful auto dealerships in New York City, Florida, and elsewhere. He advertised heavily on television, and his car dealership's slogan was: "If this…
“If this weather gets any more bipolar I’m going to try to date it”
"If this weather gets any more bipolar I’m going to try to date it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If this weather gets any more bipolar I’m going to…
“If this weekend goes as planned, it will not include any actual plans”
"If this weekend goes as planned, it will not include any actual plans" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If this weekend goes as planned, it will not include any…
“If time heals all wounds, what happens when you get hit in the head with a clock?”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterNate Thomas@natezthomasIf time heals all wounds, what happens if you get smashed in the head with a clock?1:44 PM - 30 Jan 2013 TwitterManuel…