“I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying”
Is working in a shoe shop "sole-destroying"? "I think I'll leave the shoe shop soon and find a better paying job"/"One that's not so sole-destroying?" was…
Food/Drink
“I used to work in a tiddlywinks factory, but it was counter productive”
Some jobs are "counter productive, but what if it's a job making counters? "My dad used to work in a tiddlywink factory. But he didn’t like it. He said it was counter…
“I used to work in a watch factory. I sat around making faces all day”
A watch has a face, and there is a very old joke about that. "I have two jobs open. I've got a chance to go making faces in a watch factory or drawing mugs in a beer hall" was…
“I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead” (workplace saying)
"I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead" (or "I ran out of sick days, so I called in dead") is an office saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as…
“I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time”
A joke about time was submitted by Tom Ward to the Edinburgh (Scotland) Festival Fringe in August 2015: "I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time." The…
“I visited the doctor today and he told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf”
A joke about "blood sugar level" mistakes that term for the shelf that sugar is stored on. "Doctor told my Friend her sugar is too high she move her sugar container to a lower…
“I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen”
"I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I wake up with a good attitude everyday, but then idiots…
“I wake up with a good attitude every morning. Then idiots happen”
"I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I wake up with a good attitude everyday, but then idiots…
“I walked in on my wife yelling that she hated low lying clouds…” (joke)
"Mist" for the word "missed" is a common weather pun. "I haven't the foggiest idea or have I mist the point, sorry my thoughts are a bit cloudy at the moment!"…
“I walked into a bar and ordered a double…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A pun on the terms "double martini" and "body double" is: "I…
“I walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read, ‘One day, this could be you’”
A joke about the homeless is: "I walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read, 'One day, this could be you.' So I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he's…
“I walked up to reception in the hotel and said, ‘Sorry, but I forgot what room I’m in’” (joke)
Hotel guests often forget their rooms. A joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on March 12, 2012: "I walked up to reception in the hotel and said, 'Sorry but I forgot what room…
“I walked up to the bar and asked for a white wine…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipediabot (the Sickipedia website) on April 21, 2013:…
“I wanna be nice, but then people happen”
"I wanna be nice, but then people happen" is a saying that has been printed on many images. FacebookMore Crazy StuffMarch 30, 2023 at 5:58 PM · (The following text is shown on an image.…
“I wanna get drunk with people that start frying chicken outta no where”
There's a saying that it's good to get drunk (or to get high) with fat people -- they'll start frying chicken out of nowhere. "I love smoking around fat people cause when they…
“I wanna guac & roll all night, and margarita every day”
"I wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day" is a lyric in the song "Rock and Roll All Nite" (1975) by the American heavy metal band KISS. "@Miranda_Lambert I…
“I wanna guac and roll all night, and party every day”
"I wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day" is a lyric in the song "Rock and Roll All Nite" (1975) by the American heavy metal band KISS. "@Miranda_Lambert I…
“I wanna guac and roll all night, and patty every day” (guacamole burger)
"I wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day" is a lyric in the song "Rock and Roll All Nite" (1975) by the American heavy metal band KISS. "@Miranda_Lambert I…
“I wanna guac and roll all night, and salsa every day”
"I wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day" is a lyric in the song "Rock and Roll All Nite" (1975) by the American heavy metal band KISS. "@Miranda_Lambert I…
“I WANNA STOP DRINKING but I realized the owner of the liquor store gotta family to feed”
"I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the…