Mitochondrion ("mitochondria" is the plural) is known as the powerhouse of the cell. There have been several jokes about "prison" cells. "If I ever go to jail I'm gna…
"If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die" is a jocular statement made by an out-of-shape person that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts, hats and…
An old political joke told by Democrats such as Lyndon Johnson, Walter Mondale and Ted Kennedy has a person needing a heart transplant being offered three different hearts -- the heart of someone…
Some lottery winners share their riches, and some don't. A joke was posted on Sickipedia on September 20, 2021: "If I ever win the lottery, rest assured, nobody around me will be poor. I…
At a pool, young adults often throw others into the pool. It is usually meant to be harmless fun. "If i get pushed in a pool this summer I’m not swimming back up, enjoy ya murder charge…
Missing persons’ pictures have been on milk cartons since the disappearance of Etan Patz in Manhattan in 1979. "If I go missing, put my photo on a wine bottle so my friends will know to look…
A joke about the meaning of "a quarter" has been printed on several images. The joke originated on the Sickipedia website and was posted on Twitter on November 7, 2011: "I won $2…
The DeLorean motor vehicle was used as a time machine in the three 1980s
"If I had a dollar for every existential crisis I’ve ever had, does money really even matter?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by CM Cuck@TimRossComedy on November 27, 2012.…
How many genders are there? If you had a dollar for every gender, how many dollars would you have? "If I had a dollar for every gender there was, I'd have 2 dollars" was posted on…
"If I had a dollar for every time i didn't know what was going on, I'd be a millionaire" was posted on Twitter by Neale Gilbert on February 21, 2011. This is a typical answer…
"If I had a dollar for every time I got suspicious, I'd wonder who was paying me and why" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "If I had a dollar for…
"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "If I had a penny for…
A saying about the attractiveness of money is: "If I had a dollar for every time I was told I was unattractive to women, I'd be attractive to women." "If I had a dollar for…
"If I had a dollar for every time socialism worked, I would have $0. Coincidentally if it did work, I would also have $0" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If I had…
"If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks, then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
A politically incorrect joke is: "If I had a dollar for every time someone said I was racist, a black guy would rob me." "If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a racist…
People are often told not to look directly at a solar eclipse. After the August 21, 2017 solar eclipse, a jocular line was posted on Reddit -- Jokes: "If I had a dollar for every time someone…
"Pumpernickel" bread can sound like "pun per nickel," and there are jokes. "And you'll have to do better than that if you're going to sell word-plays for 5 cents,…
People often tell themselves, "My diet starts tomorrow," but tomorrow never comes. "If I had a nickle for every time I said 'The Diet Starts Tomorrow', I'd have enough…