“I’m not a member of any organized political party—I’m a Democrat”
"I'm not a member of any organized political party -- I'm a Democrat" is a famous political quotation attributed to humorist Will Rogers (1879-1935), although Rogers said it a…
Food/Drink
“I’m not a procrastinator. I just prefer doing all my work in a deadline-induced panic”
"I'm not a procrastinator. I just prefer doing all my work in a deadline-induced panic" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is from the webcomic…
“I’m not a procrastinator. I’m just extremely productive at unimportant things”
"I'm not a procrastinator. I'm just extremely productive at unimportant things" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images and an ecard. "I'm not a…
“I’m not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are”
"I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are" is a jocular line about vegetarians that has been printed on many images. The line was posted on the newsgroup alt.quotations on…
“I’m not a wine snob. I’m just an awesommelier” (awesome + sommelier)
"Awesommelier" (awesome + sommelier) is a popular wine portmanteau word. "People of Quality (hand-picked by me, your Awesommelier)" was posted on Twitter by Claire M. Jackson…
“I’m not a wino, I’m a ‘why-yes’”
"I'm not a wiNO. I'm a wineYES!" is a jocular wine saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm Not A Wino, I'm A 'Why-Yes'" by Walter Lolich…
“I’m not a wiNO. I’m a wineYES!”
"I'm not a wiNO. I'm a wineYES!" is a jocular wine saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm Not A Wino, I'm A 'Why-Yes'" by Walter Lolich…
“I’m not above calling in sick from the parking lot”
People call in sick -- but from the parking lot of the job? "I'm not above calling in sick from the parking lot" is a work saying that been printed on several images. "I feel…
“I’m not above using obscure Mexican battles to justify my drinking” (Cinco de Mayo joke)
"I'm not above using obscure Mexican battles to justify my drinking" is a Cinco de Mayo joke that has been printed on an ecard. The ecard has been in print since at least May 3,…
“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship”
"I'm not addicted to coffee, we're just in a committed relationship" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm not addicted to coffee, we're…
“I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings; I’m a drunk, we go to parties”
"I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings; I'm a drunk, we go to parties" is a popular saying on posters. The joke refers indirectly to Alcoholics Anonymous, an…
“I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a bartender who works from home”
"I am not an unemployed alcoholic, I am a bartender who works from home" is a jocular line that was cited on Twitter by comedy wirter Richard Day on January 27, 2010. "I'm not…
“I’m not an early bird or a night owl. I’m more of a tired afternoon duck”
"I'm not an early bird or a night owl. I'm more of a tired afternoon duck" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm not an early bird and I'm not a…
“I’m not anti-system. The system is anti-me”
"I'm not anti-system. The system is anti-me" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Yo no soy antisistema, es el sistema es antiyo" is also shown on several…
“I’m not as think as you drunk I am”
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am" -- a drunk "spoonerism" version of "I'm not as drunk as you think I am" -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on…
“I’m not bossy. I’m the teacher”
"I'm not bossy. I'm the teacher" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been printed on various gift items since at least 2018. TwitterShe Shed Craft…
“I’m not broke. I’m pre-rich”
"I'm not broke/poor. I'm pre-rich" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The term "pre-rich" was entered in the Urban Dictionary on September 19, 2015.…
“I’m not buying a 2021 planner until I see a trailer”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic changed everyone's plans. “Biggest waste of money: my 2020 planner” and “Glad I didn’t waste my money buying a planner for 2020” were popular…
“I’m not challenging your authority. I’m denying it completely”
"I'm not challenging your authority. I'm denying it completely" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain, but it appears to have been…
“I’m not cheap. I’m frugal”
"I'm not cheap. I'm frugal" is what some non-spenders say. American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) possibly popularized the saying in a June 1987 newspaper column that ended:…