“A pair of dice walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A dice version is: "A pair of dice walk into a bar. The bartender asks, 'What are…
Transportation
“A panda bear was frying up some bacon and eggs. It was a frying pan, duh”
The word "panda" sounds like "pan, duh." A riddle was posted on Twitter by Nickiey on June 10, 2009. Q: What does a panda cook with? A: A PAN duh!! A slightly different version…
“A panda feeds for 12 hours. This is the same as an adult under quarantine, called a ‘pandemic’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be locked down at home -- were they ate a lot. There is no panda in pandemic, but there are jokes. "On average, a panda feeds for…
“A panda walks into a restaurant…” (joke)
"A panda walks into a restaurant" is the start of a classic joke. After the panda enjoys the meal, he shoots at the waiter and exits. The restaurant manager runs after the panda, who says…
“A pansexual is someone who adores pan pizza from Pizza Hut”
"Pansexual" has nothing to do with pans, but there are "pan pizza" jokes. "I guess I'm pansexual. It accurately describes me better than bi... Except it makes me think…
“A paper cut is a tree’s last revenge”
"A paper cut is a tree's last revenge" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Has realized that a paper cut is a tree's last stand, it's final…
“A paper jam is the least appetizing of all the preserves”
A "paper jam" is not a food, but there are jokes. "Paper Jam is the most flavorless of all condiments" was posted on X/Twitter by The Drawn on June 16, 2011. "paper jam is…
“A paper never refuses ink”
"A paper never refuses/refused ink" means that just because something is printed (for example, in a newspaper), doesn't make it true. A publisher can print anything -- "a paper…
“A parking meter is a device that enables you to do two hours’ shopping in one”
Parking meters often have a maximum of one hour -- otherwise, people would leave their cars longer. "Parking meter — A device that enables you to do two hours' shopping in one" is…
“A parking ticket officer is simply a hall monitor who reached full potential”
School hall monitors are not held in high esteem by students, and parking ticket officers aren't held in high esteem by drivers. Anjeanette Carter posted on Twitter on October 12, 2011:…
“A parking ticket officer is simply a hall monitor who reached full potential”
School hall monitors are not held in high esteem by students, and parking ticket officers aren't held in high esteem by drivers. Anjeanette Carter posted on Twitter on October 12, 2011:…
“A party in my tummy”
"Party in My Tummy" is a song that was on the August 20, 2007 premiere of the children's television show Yo Gabba Gabba! The song shows foods that the tummy loves, creating a party…
“A party in your mouth” (a taste sensation)
A "party in my/your mouth" is a food or a combination of foods that create a taste sensation (usually a positive one). The flavors seemingly contain all the excitement of a party.…
“A party without cake is just a meeting”
"A party without (a) cake is just a meeting" is a saying that has been printed on many posters, with the saying almost always credited to American chef and author Julia Child (1912-2004).…
“A pat on the back is only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants”
"A pat on the back is only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants" is a saying that originated in the 1940s. "There are only 18 inches between a pat on the back and a kick…
“A patient cured is a customer lost”
"A patient cured is a customer lost" is a saying (sometimes credited to "Big Pharma") that has been printed on many images. The big money to be made is in endless medical…
“A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government”
"A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government" was written by environmentalist Edward Abbey (1927-1989) and published in 1989. "His government"…
“A peach is just a hairy nectarine”
Peaches and nectarines are the same species, but peaches have fuzz and nectarines do not. There have been many comments and jokes about this. The song "Nectarine" (2001) by Cherokee…
“A peanut sat on a railroad track. His heart was all a-flutter…”
A popular quatrain about a peanut being squashed into peanut butter has been cited in print since at least January 1922: "A peanut sat on a railroad trackHis heart was all a-flutter,Along came…
“A pedestrian is someone who thought there were a couple of gallons left in the tank”
Some people continue to drive their cars when the gas gauge reads "empty," thinking that a gallon or two is still left in the tank. The Wall Street Journal originated a frequently…