“Just found out I’ve failed my German exam. Sacre bleu!”
"Just found out I've failed my German exam. Sacre bleu!" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic on January 28, 2018. "Sacrebleu" is French. TwitterBob…
Pocket City, Stoplight City (Evansville, Indiana nicknames)
“Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to sleep I just don’t want to go to work”
"I just found out it doesn't matter how early I go to sleep I just don't want to go to work" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, even if the speaker gets…
“Just found out there’s no popcorn in popcorn shrimp. Guess there’s no reason to try pot roast”
"Found out there's no popcorn in popcorn shrimp. Guess there's no use in trying the pot roast..." is a jocular saying that was posted on Twitter by "good luck chuck"…
“Just gave my hamster a coffee because I don’t want him falling asleep at the wheel”
Many people have a coffee before driving to prevent falling asleep at the wheel. A coffee joke transfers this to a hamster wheel. "'@sixthformpoet: I just made my hamster a strong coffee.…
“Just gone online for a video conference call. A can of corned beef popped up on my screen. Must be a zoom meat tin”
"Zoom meeting" is sometimes joked as "zoom meat tin." "Just gone online for a video conference call.. A can of corned beef popped up on my screen.. Must be a zoom meat…
“Just got a job as senior director at Old MacDonald’s Farm. I’m the CIEIO”
The "EIEIO" in the song "Old MacDonald's Farm" shouldn't be confused with the position of "CEO," but there are jokes. "@TheFagCasanova: Old…
“Just got kicked out of the hospital for telling the Covid patients to stay positive”
"Stay positive" usually means to stay optimistic, but for a Covid test to "stay positive" means that the person still has the disease. The original authorship of a popular…
“Just got myself a Christmas job down our pub filling the salt and pepper pots. Mind you it’s only seasonal work”
A food joke involves the terms "seasoning" (salt and pepper, in the joke) and "seasonal work." "Why didn't the server want a job filling salt and pepper shakers?...…
“Just got the perfect tool for making a good Indian flat bread. It’s a naan stick pan”
"Naan" (a flatbread) is the subject of several puns, such as the "naan-stick pan." "My leavened flatbread keeps falling out of the oven. Guess I should've bought a…
“Just had a Belgian waffle. Next, I’m going to make him dance”
"Waffle" can be both a noun and a verb. Of course, there are jokes. "RT @GaryDelaney: Just had a Belgian waffle, next I'm going to make him dance" was posted on Twitter by…
“Just had a sage and onion enema. It’s knocked the stuffing out of me”
Sage & onion stuffing is a popular recipe, and it's been used in a joke. "Just had a sage and onion enema. It has knocked the stuffing out of me" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Just had coffee so strong that it woke up my ancestors”
"I need that kinda coffee that's so strong when I take a sip, my ancestors wake up" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "This coffee is strong enough to…
“Just had lunch at a Christian restaurant called ‘The Lord Giveth.’ They also do takeaways”
"The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away" is from Job 1:21 in the Bible. "Just had lunch at an excellent Christian restaurant called 'The Lord Giveth'. They also do…
“Just had my car waxed. No idea how it gets so hairy”
Car waxing shouldn't be confused with bikini waxing, but there are jokes. "Will try and get the car waxed before the match tomorrow, I'm still not sure how it gets that…
“Just had my Christmas Dinner. Must admit I’m not a fan of these ‘slow’ cookers!”
How slow is a slow cooker? "I've never really been a real fan of slow cookers. But I must admit that was the best Christmas Dinner I had in many years" was posted on Facebook by Anna…
“Just heard a British person call Oreos “chocolate sandwich biscuits’”
Oreos are a trademarked brand of sandwich cookies that were invented in the United States. British call cookies "biscuits." "Just heard a British person call Oreos 'chocolate…
“Just in time for Thanksgiving, a blockbuster movie about sweet potatoes, ‘The Silence of the Yams’”
The Silence of the Lambs is a 1991 American psychological horror thriller film. There is no film called "Silence of the Yams," but there are yam jokes that have been printed on many…
“Just landed a job at the boatyard. I’m sails manager”
"Sales manager" shouldn't be confused with "sails manager," but there are jokes. "YES! Just been hired as a sails manager at the yacht club 🚣" was posted on…
“Just like New York” (“Just like downtown”)
"Just like downtown" is a saying that became popular in 1949-1950. "Downtown" means the place of excitement, where the lights are bright and there is shopping and entertainment.…
“Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise ...” (joke)
"Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That's why I think of jogging every morning" is a joke that was cited on Twitter on April 2, 2013. "Your mind needs exercise just…